On Tuesday night, Donald Trump demonstrated that not a goddamn soul is regulating his Twitter use as the bumbling orange bag of dementia and (alleged) sexual assault fired off the following half-finished, incoherent tweet and left it up for hours:
Needless to say, the internet jokes were many as almost every single person who's remotely familiar with the English language knows that "covfefe" isn't a real word.
Fuck, even Trump himself joked about it.
Except like everything with this darkest timeline, Trump wasn't joking. Because today, White House press secretary Sean Spicer literally stood in front of a pool of reporters and had the balls to say that the president knows exactly what "covfefe" means. They're actually defending this shit.
First off, I never thought I could hear a man audibly wanting his life to end as clearly as Spicer in that clip. Good God.
Second, how insanely fucked is Trump's ego that the administration's move was to literally stand in front of journalists and say, "Well, of course, covfefe is a real word. Duh!" instead of the easy and completely understandable explanation of "Autocorrect, amirite?"
I mean, goddammit. That's all they had to do. I think this administration is death on stumpy orange wheels, but even I can relate to getting boned by autocorrect in the middle of a sweet tweet. It's the single most universal dilemma of the first world. We've all been there.
But because Trump is the pumpkin with the paper-thin skin, the entire world had to watch a grown man claim the President of the United States totally meant it when he shat out a random combination of letters to millions of people.
He couldn't just let that one go. That's how fucking fragile this asshole is.
We're all going to die.
Update: There's been a development.