funny
Trump Distraught Over Failure to Hit Back Row With Paper Towel Toss
President Trump was reportedly despondent over his failure to “hit the back row” during his paper towel toss to a gathered church crowd in hurricane ravaged Puerto Rico. Trump shook his head in shameful defeat as loops of his paper towel tosses repeated on a TV screen. “I’m ...read more
Florida Man Throws Alligator into Restaurant Because Florida is F*cking Crazy
In the latest installment of what completely insane thing happened in Florida this week, we have a story that potentially tops them all. Forget the fact that government officials can’t use the word ‘climate change’ because it is ‘not a true fact‘, it is legal to shoot unarmed ...read more
The Most Insane Job Application Email Ever
While the headline of this piece might sound somewhat hyperbolic, please check out the email I received today that I believe is a job application. I've read this several times and cannot for the life of me understand what Mr Choi is proposing he do for the Banter. Citing ...read more
German Aerospace Experts Debunk North Korean Submarine Missile Photos
Retro fashion mogul and all round psychopath Kim Jong Un has yet again made his country the laughing stock of the world with another photoshopped photo of North Korea's military prowess. In keeping with a long history of botched propaganda photos (more on that below), Kim ...read more
Life And Other Four Letter Words: "W O R K”
Oliver Green is a modern life burnout/angeraholic living in Bali, Indonesia and writing about life instead of making things worse by having one.W O R K Have you ever been at work and stared at the fire alarm and thought maybe you’d pull it? Big deal. Have you ever looked at it ...read more
UpBuzzViralWorthyFeed: Super Brain Beagle Gets Chicken Nuggets Out of Oven
As part of our continued efforts to plague the internet with ridiculous videos in a new column we're calling "UpBuzzViralWorthyFeed", we thought you might want to see a beagle get some chicken nuggets out of his owner's oven. Why is this deemed "UpBuzzViralWorthyFeed" material? ...read more
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X Rays Prove Colorado Dog Did Actually Eat Homework
As a student I came up with pretty much every excuse known to mankind when it came to not handing in my homework. Forged signatures from my parents, fake illnesses, missing text books - you name it and I tried it. The one thing I never had the guts to do was the "My Dog Ate My ...read more
Parents Invent 'Dinovember'; Win Parents of the Year Award
My close friend Emily once confided in me that she doesn’t care if her hypothetical future kids are pretty, cool, or even smart… She just wants them to be weird. Pretty people are scientifically predisposed to being the worst, cool people are usually burying deep-seeded ...read more
French Teenagers Get Drunk, Kidnap Circus Llama And Go on Tour of Bordeaux
Five French teenagers from Bordeaux got drunk stole a circus llama named Serge, and took him on a tour of the city by tram. Serge was taken by the boisterous group early on Thursday morning when they broke into a circus after going clubbing in the city. From the Independent: ...read more
War Fatigue: A One-Act Gchat Play by Donny Potter
A one act gchat play by Donny Potter, a Washington D.C. based satirist, musician, misanthrope and non-profit employee. Barry: Hey bro, how fucking awesome was last night?!?! Sent at 2:06 PM on Saturday me: ha yeah, last night was pretty crazy Barry: dude, I can’t even ...read more
Jurassic Prank: Possibly The Scariest 'Joke' of All Time
The Japanese have given much to the world - ninjas, sushi, and Nintendo. But let's be honest, the island nation can be a little weird. Their penchant for bizarre porn, renting friends, and persistent groping on the subway puts them up there with the strangest countries in the ...read more
Glenn Beck Comment Porn: Insane Muslim Hating Edition!
Welcome to this week's edition of 'Glenn Beck Comment Porn', the weekly Daily Banter feature where we trawl through comments left by fans of Glenn Beck on his website 'The Blaze'. There has been a notable trend of late - every week, the commenters are getting crazier and ...read more
The Morning Banter: No Porn For Britain, Couple's Epic Final Argument, and Peace in the Middle East?
Before you settle down to work, you'd better know what the hell is going on in the world right now. Yes, some woman in England had a baby who will one day be a completely irrelevant monarch, but there's a lot more going on that you need to be up to date with. Sexually Repressed ...read more
Cheeky 3 Year Old Denies Eating Sprinkles...With Sprinkles all Over his Face
This had me in stitches. A quote from a facebook user: "This kid will work for the CIA one day, sticks to his story and doesn't change." ...read more
Glenn Beck Comment Porn: Obama the Global Warming Nazi Edition
In this weeks edition of 'Glenn Beck Comment Porn' we look at the reactions of The Blaze readers to President Obama's speech in Germany, where he proclaimed that climate change was 'the global threat of our time'. The speech precludes a major push by the administration to cap ...read more
Junk Mail: Invite to Private Millionaires Party in Hawaii!
In our latest installment of 'Junk Mail', we reply to Vick Strizheus who sent us an email to The Daily Banter account titled: Private millionair es party invite.... (shhhh!) Intrigued by the prospect of being invited to a private party for millionaires, we thought it a good ...read more
Top 5 Stupidest BuzzFeed Top 10 Lists of the Week (And It's Only Tuesday...)
Gots to love the BuzzFeed...the team at 'LOL' central are off to a rollicking start this week and have polluted the web-o-sphere with some real gems. Here are the top 5 stupidest top 10 lists thus far (and incredibly it's only Tuesday): 1. The 25 Most Powerful "I Want It That ...read more
This Week's Mail Bag! Obama's Crappy Week, the AP and IRS scandals, and Kitchen Nightmares!
Welcome to this weeks edition of The Daily Banter mailbag!! Today, Bob, Ben and Chez discuss Obama's craptastical week, the IRS and AP scandals, and the nutbags from this week's Kitchen Nightmares. 1. How much trouble is President Obama in? He's looking down the barrel of not ...read more
Celebrities Are Important Because…
A Day in the life of Kim Kardashian as seen by Kessica Kurst Dear Kdiary, Let me tell you, today has been a crazy day. If it wasn’t for my two assistants and my sisters (you know, Kourtney and Khloe – isn’t it hilarious we all have K names? My mom (Kris) was so clever like ...read more
Gang Fight Breaks Out Between Star Wars and Doctor Who Fans
When you think of famous gang rivalries, you think Bloods vs Crips, Outlaws vs Hells Angels and Mods vs Rockers. But Star Wars fans vs Doctor Who fans? Not so much. However, tension between the two SciFi factions have been brewing in quaint town of Norwich, England, leading to ...read more
Tom Friedman on Hot Soup, Yoghurt and Midwifing Syria
Tom Friedman, The New York Time's meaningless columnist in chief published one of his best pieces yet last week - a true testament to his ability to regurgitate banal pseudo intellectual garbage week after week. The ludicrously highly paid Friedman churns out articles on the ...read more
Top 5 Stupidest BuzzFeed Top 10 Lists of The Week
You have to give it to BuzzFeed - their ability to churn out 'top 10' lists defies anything the internet has ever known before. There is certainly a skill to compiling completely meaningless lists (as we're doing here), and it's about time the much laughed at media company got ...read more
Junk Mail: Email Scammer Wants a Ride From the Airport
We're getting an amazing insight into the world of internet email scamming with a back and forth with 'Williams Cole'. Completely unfazed by the fact that we've asked him to send money to a fictional hotel in Uzbekistan, demanded a $64,000 cash deposit, and asked for a photo ...read more
Celebrities Are Important Because...
Editors note: This is a new weekly column we'll be doing at The Daily Banter where Jessica Furst looks at the monumentally important lives of celebrities and why we should follow their every move. In this weeks edition of 'Celebrities Are Important Because...' we look at teeny ...read more
Junk Mail: We Get a Response From Email Scammer
Last week we received an email from a 'Mr Williams Cole' who asked us whether we would accomodate him and three friends for 10 nights in June. Unaware that The Daily Banter was gaining reputation as a Hotel in the DC area, we quickly responded (we like to have an intimate ...read more
Crazy Sorority Girl Letter Highlights Stupidity of Sororities
Gawker has received definitive proof that college sororities are ridiculous institutions that turn insecure teenage girls into raging power freaks with severe personality disorders. The publication was forwarded perhaps the craziest email ever written by an executive board ...read more
Dear Linkedin: Please F**k Off
Dear Linkedin, Every morning I wake up, and you are there. Whether it is the first email in my inbox, or an ad you've placed on some of my favorite sites, I always know I'll be reminded that someone from Linkedin wants something from me. The funny thing is, I distinctly recall ...read more
Glenn Beck Comment Porn: 'Liberals Want to Steal America's Children!'
In this week's edition of 'Glenn Beck Comment Porn', we look at 'The Blaze' readers reaction to an MSNBC segment that claimed children were part of a community, and not just the sole property of their parents. The article, titled: 'Glenn Beck Eviscerates MSNBC Promo Claiming ...read more
Probably The Worst Way to Die Ever
I really wish I was making this up: A Russian man was arrested late last month and charged with homicide after killing his friend by shoving a foot up his ass. Literally. According to local reports, Vladimir Krasnov, 28, of Nizhny Novgorod had decided to make good on the ...read more
Junk Mail: The Coffee Shop Millionaire's Club
In the latest edition of 'Junk Mail' we respond to the wonderful people at 'The Coffeeshop Millionaires' who have promise that you can become millionaires by sitting in a coffee shop and working for only a few minutes a day. Here's the email we received (the link is safe): ...read more