I'm Sure This is Somehow Hillary Clinton's Fault.
Don't Pull Up for a 3 When You Can Hit the Lay Up
After Donald Trump blocked horror writer and frequent critic Stephen King, Colbert tweeted out the following zinger that is now being retweeted at a phenomenal pace:
"At no point does Jim Jeffries insist that a threesome was always his for the taking. In fact, quite the opposite. Trump, though -- for Trump he'll tell you that's just last Thursday."
What we saw last night was the collective efforts of the least talented political campaign team in US history.
We OPEN in a cramped Apartment that’s seen better days. It’s hot. BLACK ANGER and WHITE GUILT are sitting watching TV. There’s only one chair so BLACK ANGER is sitting on the floor and the the air conditioner is broken and only blows cold air on WHITE GUILT. The volume on the TV is stuck on maximum.
In order to speak Palinese -- a language only understood by former Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin, Stephen Colbert was forced to tase the part of his brain that understands sentence structure on his show last night.
It didn't take long for the hordes of outraged activists, social justice warriors and haughty journalists to descend upon Ricky Gervais's performance at the Golden Globe Awards on Monday, accusing the legendary comedian of "transphobia" and, wait for it, not being funny.
This was a thing of absolute beauty.
BANTER MEMBERS ONLY: Check out the raw and uncut podcast Ben Cohen did with Godfrey recently. We discuss it all: Godfrey's background in comedy; working with the likes of Dave Chappelle, Robin Williams and Joan Rivers; whether Obama is a weak President, being black in America, and how British accents help you be more successful. WARNING: NSFW!!!
In the new Daily Banter Podcast, Ben Cohen speaks with comedian Godfrey to discuss what Robin Williams was like in person, British accents, and whether President Obama is a professorial weakling or a Machiavellian Jedi. Check out the preview!
"I met him a few times. He's a good example of someone, who you meet, who you think you are going to hate and then you get to hate him ... you meet him and he lives up to every one of your expectations" - Seth Rogen on Justin Bieber
Yes, there are a lot of people who aren't wired to understand satire. It's a shame because satire is really one of the best weapons against hatred and racism. Colbert, who's responsible for some of the most consistently pointed satire in the history of television, is proof of the efficacy of this weapon.
"There are two types of Smurfs. The Smurfs who are named after their personality IE: Vanity Smurf and Jokey Smurf – the happy ones. And the other type who are named what their job is IE: Handy Smurf and Painter Smurf - the ones who have no hope of ever smurfing Smurfette in the Smurf."
Just watch this. Right now. Hey! Don't scroll down anymore! I mean it, you're seriously missing out if you don't watch this clip!
The fawning lapdog media’s steadfast refusal to cover the pernicious security state’s egregious dismantling of basic civil liberties, is the greatest threat to human survival ever known. The tepid industry rewards ‘journalists' for their paeans to power, where supposed revelations reveal nothing other than servile platitudes to elite privilege.
"Why did she go into porn?"
Louis CK said: "Sadness is poetic. You're lucky to live sad moments...I was grateful to feel sad and then I met it with true profound happiness; and it was a trip." In today's instant gratification, constant pursuit of happiness society, isn't it time we embraced those negative and empty moments?
It's no surprise that Cruz and Hannity and those like them like Jay Leno. He's the perfect comedian for conservative values: non-threatening, folksy, overachieving in his desire to please mom and pop. There's nothing about him that the conservative mindset would find "weird." Not like, say, Jimmy Fallon. And that kind of says everything you need to know about conservatives and comedy.
Stop me if you've heard this one before but Salon is complaining about Seth MacFarlane. The debut of the new Fox show Dads, has given the internet's premier destination for keeping track of everything you need to be outraged by another chance to revisit one of its favorite subjects.
Comic genius and rabble rouser Russell Brand got himself thrown out of the GQ awards after party for bringing up sponsor Hugo Boss's ties to the Nazi Party. A couple of weeks removed from the debacle, Brand has some newfound perspective on the controversy. And no, he's not sorry.
George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he embodied America's intellectual counter culture and provided sanctuary from the crisis of modernity. “We're all fucked," Carlin once said. "It helps to remember this.”
if you know anything at all about publishing you probably know that the authors of articles rarely write their own headlines. I think this needs to be kept in mind when having any discussion of Salon, mostly because it goes a long way in making the motives of the site's editors crystal clear: they're trolling you, all of us, and they're doing it hard, because trolling drives traffic.
In an interview with Salon that's running today, Christian minister and "Twitter comic" Sammy Rhodes tries to make the argument that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, that he started out copying the basic "format" of the jokes his comedic heroes were tweeting -- adding a couple of minor changes -- as a sort of tribute to them. He figured, I guess, that since he didn't see what he was doing as wrong then it wasn't actually wrong.
The debate Jim Norton and Lindy West have is a good and respectful one but I have to admit that I'm firmly in one camp on this. No one wants to hurt or victimize someone who's already been hurt or victimized, but a comic simply can't keep in his or her mind the many potential discomforts or grievances of each and every member of the audience -- who might get offended over what joke -- otherwise he or she can't do the job.
Patton Oswalt is being raked over the coals by a very vocal faction of the feminist media community for his position, once again, on rape jokes. Now if you're saying to yourself at this very moment, "Wait, Patton? But he doesn't make rape jokes and, besides, he's one of the funniest people in America and someone who consistently comes off as a genuinely good guy," you should probably know that the controversy this time isn't like those that came before it.
You have to give it to BuzzFeed - their ability to churn out 'top 10' lists defies anything the internet has ever known before. This week, the team at BuzzFeed have really worked hard to swamp the tubes with gratuitous nonsense, giving us top-something lists on a host of topics you really shouldn't be paying attention to.
Unfazed by the fact that we've asked an email scammer to send money to a fictional hotel in Uzbekistan, demanded a $64,000 cash deposit, and asked for a photo of himself with the money, he continues to correspond with us and now wants to be picked up from the airport.