Rudy Giuliani Is Literally The Worst Lawyer Ever

President Trump’s Stormy Daniels legal debacle has taken a hilarious turn for the worse after Mr 9/11 himself Rudy Giuliani appeared to drop his boss into a legal quagmire on live television two days in a row. Hired as a “heavy hitter” for Trump legal defense team, Giuliani was supposed to come in and sort things out for the president, just as he did as Mayor after the terrorist attacks in 2001. Instead, he stated in no uncertain terms that his client knew about paying off Stormy Daniels to keep her quiet, and did it to help his chances in the 2016 election. 

These key points are crucial to Trump’s legal defense: if the payment to Daniels were intended to advance Trump’s chances in the election and he knew about it, he could be found guilty of a serious campaign violation. Unfortunately for Trump, Giuliani confessed to Sean Hannity, then Fox and Friends that this was in fact the case:

Here is the transcript: 

SEAN HANNITY: My question is, are you concerned within the process of this, we did discover that a foreign national, Christopher Steele, was paid through Fusion GPS, used Russian sources that not only weren’t verified, but were debunked — are you concerned that was paid for, to manipulate the American people in the lead-up to an election?

RUDOLPH W. GIULIANI: Isn’t that closer to the mandate than Michael Cohen?

HANNITY: Why isn’t that happening? Where’s Mueller on that, sir?

GIULIANI: Having something to do with paying some Stormy Daniels woman $130,000? Which, I mean, is going to turn out to be perfectly legal. That money was not campaign money. Sorry, I’m giving you a fact now that you don’t know. It’s not campaign money. No campaign finance violation.

HANNITY: They funneled it through a law firm.

GIULIANI: They funneled through a law firm, and the president repaid it.

HANNITY: Oh. I didn’t know that. He did.

GIULIANI: Yep.

HANNITY: There’s no campaign finance law.

GIULIANI: Zero. Just like every — Sean, Sean —

HANNITY: So this decision was made by —

GIULIANI: Everybody was nervous about this from the very beginning. I wasn’t. I knew how much money Donald Trump put into that campaign, and I said, “$130,000? He could do a couple of checks for $130,000.”

When I heard of Cohen’s retainer for $130,000, he was doing no work for the president. I said, “Well, that’s how he’s repaying it, with a little profit and a little margin for paying taxes for Michael.

HANNITY: But you know the president didn’t know about this?

GIULIANI: Ah, he didn’t know about the specifics of it, as far as I know. But he did know about the general arrangement, that Michael would take care of things like this. Like, I take care of this with my clients. I don’t burden them with every single thing that comes along. These are busy people.

On Fox and Friends today, Giuliani stated: 

Imagine if that came out on Oct. 15, 2016, in the middle of the, you know, last debate with Hillary Clinton. Cohen didn’t even ask. Cohen made it go away. He did his job.

Trump previously stated that he did not know about the $130,000 payment to Daniels and his lawyer claimed payment out of his own money and was never reimbursed. Now, Giuliani has gone on national television to state that Trump only “didn’t know about the specifics of it,” and Cohen was in fact reimbursed, and all in order to make it “go away” in time for the election in November of 2016. 

To any rational observer, this is the most idiotic defense of the president possible. Giuliani isn’t just a bad lawyer, he is a dangerously bad lawyer who has just made his opponent’s legal case for him. Tweeted Daniels’ lawyer Michael Avenatti:

Trump’s spectacular habit of hiring idiots who actively damage him seems to be getting more and more pronounced, much to the annoyance his White House staff who are now apparently in panic mode as they attempt to lie their way out of the latest almighty cock up. 

It is fitting that a nasty racist like Rudy Giuliani is ending his career in this fashion. He is wrecking his professional reputation with every media appearance, and is shilling for an equally nasty racist who will soon find himself in more trouble than Giuliani can possibly lie his way out of. 

Ben Cohen is the editor and founder of The Daily Banter. He lives in Washington DC where he does podcasts, teaches Martial Arts, and tries to be a good father. He would be extremely disturbed if you took him too seriously.