The Mad King Goes To War Against Everyone

It’s difficult to know where to begin. Donald Trump continues to rapidly descend into the depths of mental incapacity, proving in the first three days of 2018 that he’s even more unfit for the office than we previously observed. 

During his holiday break at Mar-a-lago, Trump tweeted that he officially defeated his (invisible) enemies in the completely ludicrous “war on Christmas.” He also claimed that because it’s cold in “the East,” global warming must be a hoax — apparently not realizing that “the East” isn’t “the globe.” Now, in hindsight, this pair of tweets seem quaint in contrast with what he’s been up to since returning to the White House. 

Trump started the year by antagonizing Pakistan, of all places. We still don’t quite know what set him off, but it’s safe to assume Steve Doocy or Brian Kilmeade likely triggered the president to spontaneously jeopardize America’s ability to conduct military raids into Pakistan as part of our ongoing pursuit of the Taliban and the remnants of al-Qaeda in south Asia. Worse, Trump’s out-of-nowhere blurts about Pakistan could make it easier for radical elements to seize power in Islamabad and, with it, Pakistan’s nuclear weapons. Needless to say, a nuclear Taliban could be the deadliest enemy we’ve faced in the modern era. 

Just in case you might think Trump knows what he’s doing, think again.

Trump followed up his Pakistan tweets by attacking Kim Jong-un about the North Korean dictator’s alleged “nuclear button.” By now you’ve probably seen the tweet. Trump, in the midst of his dick measuring contest, essentially dared Kim to launch an attack from his desk in Pyongyang. The potential destructiveness of Trump’s actions — that he’s willing to reduce the office of the presidency to the level of a petty east-Asian despot is bad enough, but I’m not sure Trump realizes that, for example, the 2018 Winter Olympics, which is merely weeks away, is being held within easy rocket-launch distance in Pyongchang, South Korea. If Kim is going to respond militarily to Trump’s dare, we can probably add the Olympics to the roster of potential targets now.

Exactly none of this is part of any rational plan. Trumpers seem to think this is a bold and powerful move, as though every world leader since 1953 has been wrong about how best to handle the hostile communist government north of the DMZ. Yep. Trump has it all figured out — a reality show dilettante who followed up his nukes tweet with a tweet about “THE MOST DISHONEST & CORRUPT MEDIA AWARDS OF THE YEAR” bit he plans to host somehow on Monday. Sure, he’s completely serious, right? A deep thinker. A tactical wizard who’s one step ahead of foreign policy experts around the world. And if you believe any of the previous three statements, you might be more deranged than Trump.

Of course, everything he said prior to today has been lost down the memory hole following the publication of an excerpt from a new book titled “Fire & Fury” by Michael Wolff. The book details a series of damning tales from inside the Trump White House, proving many theories about what we witnessed throughout 2017. For example:

  • Trump his entire campaign team didn’t think they’d actually win the election
  • On Election Night, Trump was stunned by the news of his electoral college victory, and the First Lady, Melania, “was in tears—and not of joy.”
  • While being tutored about the Constitution, Trump lost interest somewhere around the Fourth Amendment.
  • When advised to hire John Boehner as his chief of staff, Trump replied, “Who’s that?”
  • Ann Coulter advised Trump not to hire his children.
  • A Trump associate warned Reince Priebus: “Here’s the deal: In an hour meeting with him, you’re going to hear 54 minutes of stories, and they’re going to be the same stories over and over again. So you have to have one point to make, and you pepper it in whenever you can.” 
  • Trump scolded Jared Kushner during a dinner with Mika Brzezinski and Joe Scarborough, “That wasn’t Bannon’s idea. That was my idea. It’s the Trump way, not the Bannon way.” He also scolded Kushner for offering to officiate Mika’s and Joe’s wedding: “What are you talking about? Why would they want you to marry them when I could marry them? When they could be married by the president! At Mar-a-Lago!” 
  • A Trump associate told the author that Trump is “not only crazy, he’s stupid.” 
  • Trump defied the Secret Service, adding a lock to his bedroom door in the White House residence. Trump and Melania sleep in separate rooms.
  • Trump likes to eat at McDonald’s because he has an irrational fear of being poisoned.
  • Trump responded to a story about him wandering the White House at night wearing nothing but a bathrobe by telling an associate: “I don’t have because I’ve never worn a bathrobe.” Uh-huh. Right

And then there were the Steve Bannon revelations, clearly handed to Wolff by Bannon himself.

  • Bannon’s strategy incorporated deliberate trolling of liberals — to “crush the liberals: Make them crazy and drag them to the left.” 
  • Bannon said the June 9, 2016 meeting with Russian operative at Trump Tower was “treasonous” and “unpatriotic.” Specifically: “Even if you thought that this was not treasonous, or unpatriotic, or bad shit, and I happen to think it’s all of that, you should have called the FBI immediately.” 
  • Bannon also said Special Counsel Robert Mueller would “crack Don Junior like an egg on national TV.” 

Now, you’d think Trump would respond to the Wolff revelations by screaming “fake news!” into every microphone and Twitter account within reach of his stubby fingers. But no. Not this time. Instead, he added fuel to the fire by instead attacking Steve Bannon in an official White House statement that’s almost as mind-blowing as the revelations themselves.

From press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders:

Statement from the President of the United States

Steve Bannon has nothing to do with me or my Presidency. When he was fired, he not only lost his job, he lost his mind. Steve was a staffer who worked for me after I had already won the nomination by defeating seventeen candidates, often described as the most talented field ever assembled in the Republican party.

Now that he is on his own, Steve is learning that winning isn’t as easy as I make it look. Steve had very little to do with our historic victory, which was delivered by the forgotten men and women of this country. Yet Steve had everything to do with the loss of a Senate seat in Alabama held for more than thirty years by Republicans. Steve doesn’t represent my base—he’s only in it for himself.

Steve pretends to be at war with the media, which he calls the opposition party, yet he spent his time at the White House leaking false information to the media to make himself seem far more important than he was. It is the only thing he does well. Steve was rarely in a one-on-one meeting with me and only pretends to have had influence to fool a few people with no access and no clue, whom he helped write phony books.

We have many great Republican members of Congress and candidates who are very supportive of the Make America Great Again agenda. Like me, they love the United States of America and are helping to finally take our country back and build it up, rather than simply seeking to burn it all down.

What we’re witnessing here is the beginning of the war between Trump and Breitbart, and, obviously, it’ll be a blast to observe — as long as there aren’t real wars with Pakistan and North Korea. That said, we can safely say “the Mad King” is no longer a fun Game Of Thrones reference. The Mad King is real, and he’s still running the Executive Branch of the U.S. government. It’s going to get even more insane from here. Brace yourselves…   

Bob Cesca is the host of the Bob Cesca Show podcast, a twice weekly political talk show. He’s also a contributor to Salon.com. Follow him on Twitter and on Facebook.

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