Dear Kellyanne Conway, You are Going Straight to Hell

Dear Kellyanne, 

It came to my attention today that you are now vigorously defending president Trump’s decision to endorse accused pedophile and sexual deviant Roy Moore for the Senate in Alabama. When Chris Cuomo stated that “it seems like you have no standards of morality, that it’s all political pragmatism”, you feigned surprise and responded incredulously saying “Really? You’re really going to say that to me?”

Your defense consisted of saying that the president has “Tremendous moral standards” and that Al Franken inappropriately touched women. This is, as you know, ridiculous. But then you are not going on CNN to speak to all Americans — you are going on to produce sound bites for diehard Trump supporters who are keeping him in office by the skin of his teeth. 

Somewhere deep in your soul you understand what you are doing. The non-stop lies, misinformation and outright denial of reality must, at least on some level, cause you tremendous pain. You have already sold your integrity to defend a repulsive, lying, misogynist who has a track record of assaulting women, and now you are using your considerable skills of deflection to ensure a pedophile gains safe passage to the US Senate. It is clear that in your mind you are trying to justify this to yourself. You state that Moore’s politics are more important than his moral behavior, knowing full well that the religion you profess to follow explicitly condemns this line of thinking. From Matthew 7:21-23:

Many think they please the Lord because they do “many wonderful works” in His name. Their goals may be good. But He will say, “Depart from me, you who practice lawlessness,” because they are not doing the will of the Father. Even when the end is good, we must still respect everything else God specified.

If your religion turns out to be true, then defending a man who abuses women and sexually assaults children means you are destined for hell. You are practicing a lawlessness and deviation from Christian teachings so extreme that there can be no other place for you. 

“Nobody came forward before, the guy’s been on the ballot many times,” you told Cuomo. “Doug Jones is a liberal Democrat the president has said, and he doesn’t want a liberal Democrat representing Alabama in the United States Senate.” 

Because being a liberal is akin to being a being a rapist and a pedophile, right?

You have been central to the rise of Donald Trump, and while your boss is a bonafide idiot who struggles to put together coherent sentences, you are not. You know exactly what you are doing and you know full well he and Roy Moore are dangerous sexual predators who you would keep well away from your own children. According to your own belief system you will pay the ultimate price for this, and yet you still go on television every day to defend the indefensible. 

You reap what you sow in this life too, and at some point this will all come crashing down around you. Hell does exist on earth, and you’ll be there far sooner than you think. 

Ben Cohen is the editor and founder of The Daily Banter. He lives in Washington DC where he does podcasts, teaches Martial Arts, and tries to be a good father. He would be extremely disturbed if you took him too seriously.