Sarah Palin Defends Gene Simmons, Destroys The English Language in the Process

After Gene Simmons was banned from Fox News for life after behaving atrociously towards its employees this past week, defender of all things idiotic Sarah Palin took to her trusty Facebook page to denounce Fox and wreck the English language in the process. 

It was a truly painful experience reading through the garbled, random string of words Palin cobbled together to construct her argument (if you can call it that), but part of our mission here at the Banter is to mine through the nonsense our readers don’t want to. And sadly for us, this occasionally includes the ramblings of dedicated Trump cheerleader and one time VP candidate Sarah Palin, who is still hugely popular in Alt-Right circles and commands a large following on facebook. 

We’ve added corrections below each offending paragraph (which was all of them):

Fox News Bans Gene Simmons For Life? Does This Make a Lick of Sense?

Is this PC run amuck again?

Correction: It’s ‘amok’, not ‘amuck’ (at least in modern times). 

Unless I’m missing something, wouldn’t you say we’re witnessing “overreaction on steroids” lately?

Correction: Firstly, it’s an overreaction. Secondly, why is “overreaction on steroids” in quotation marks for no apparent reason? 

Fox News, really? Gene Simmons’ recent on-set visit included interviews and fun times crashing the weather report. The schtick was entertaining enough to warrant a tweet advertising Fox… but complaints about his visit ensued, thus the lifetime ban of a free-speech kinda’ guy.

Correction: Who advertised who? Did Fox advertise Simmons on Twitter? If so, her line that “The schtick was entertaining enough to warrant a tweet advertising Fox” makes no sense whatsoever. If she means Simmons advertising Fox, then this still makes absolutely no sense. 

What many know of the entertainer, Gene Simmons is expected to go over the top, and you don’t invite him in without understanding that. 

Correction: “What many know of the entertainer, Gene Simmons is that he is expected to go over the top”. Is it that difficult to make a simple sentence like this make sense grammatically? 

It’s on you if you’re unaware of the possibility of some shock and awe during a visit. 

Correction: “Shock and Awe” was the military strategy George W. Bush and Dick Cheney crafted to destroy Iraq in 2003 and shouldn’t be used as a metaphor to describe a tired old rocker idiotically harassing corporate female employees. 

I personally know the rocker is a tireless advocate for our troops, and working together raising funds for our Navy SEALS has benefited so many. As part of a military family, I’ve appreciated his efforts. Strange times we’re in, that after all the going’s on in media organizations today and big league revelations within Hollywood, politics, and pop culture arenas, that banning Gene Simmons from a conservative news outlet makes a lick of sense.- Sarah Palin

Correction: 1. “I personally know that the rocker is a tireless advocate for our troops”. 2. “Goings on” not “going’s on”. Why the random apostrophe?  3. This could be perhaps the most painful sentence of all time: “Strange times we’re in, that after all the going’s on in media organizations today and big league revelations within Hollywood, politics, and pop culture arenas, that banning Gene Simmons from a conservative news outlet makes a lick of sense”. 

What kind of a mind constructs this stream of gibberish? Furthermore, if Fox News — Fox goddamn News believes Simmons behaved inappropriately towards its employees, particularly female ones, you can be 100% sure he crossed many, many lines and deserves his lifetime ban.  

Ben Cohen is the editor and founder of The Daily Banter. He lives in Washington DC where he does podcasts, teaches Martial Arts, and tries to be a good father. He would be extremely disturbed if you took him too seriously.

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