Battle of the Sexes Heats Up In Wake of Sexual Assault Allegation Tsunami

In the wake of accusations of sexual assault brought forth against Minn. Democratic Senator Al Franken, allegations of sexual misconduct by Alabama Republican Senate Candidate Roy Moore, and sexual harassment and assault accusations against celebrities Louis C.K. and Harvey Weinstein, US women have called for a ban against any and all forms of men.

The Womens’ Rights group NO SIR (National Order of Sisters for Intersectionality & Rights) released a statement that said “It’s become overwhelmingly clear that men pose a significant and unstable risk not only to ourselves but for the security of the world. Thus we call for an immediate interaction ban against all men until, in the words of President Trump, women can sort this whole thing out.”

While the ban would not deport men from the U.S., it would place restrictions on travel, assembly, and freedom of movement. Interaction in all forms with women would be heavily monitored and in many cases restricted. 

“While there are men I’ve known in my life who I care for deeply, it’s clear that we’ve reached a tipping point and the only way forward to is two fold. First, to expose and demand justice for all transgressions committed by men against women, and secondly to limit future transgressions from happening. This can only be accomplished by a complete and total restriction placed on all men in regards to interacting with women,” said Julia Richards, President and Founder of NO SIR.

While a movement this extreme might have seen ludicrous a few years or even months ago, with recent revelations of sexual assault and harassment from men toward women all along the power spectrum, it is now gaining mainstream acceptance.

“I really don’t see another option,” said Karen Tibbs, dentist, mother of two, and NO SIR supporter. “I know it’ll be difficult to figure out, but clearly men have shown they have no interest in changing their behavior so this might be the only solution.”

There has been pushback from men, but a surprising number have called the idea a possibility. Some are even in favor of more drastic measures. “At this point I’m in favor of the sexes having their own seperate nation states, each with their own laws,” said Keith Collins, President of NOT ALL MENN (National Order of Tough, Alpha Leaders Leading Men to an Enlightened New Nation)

“Isn’t that a little extreme? Plus it doesn’t really address the issue,” I said.

“What women are asking simply isn’t gonna happen. We can’t police all men, and we’ve come about as far as we’re gonna go. I see the only viable solution is to separate.”

While both sides don’t agree on how the separation will ultimately take place, both sides agree something akin to it needs to happen. 

“We don’t want men to leave the country,” said Ms. Richards. “But interaction, and even locales they are allowed to enter without being monitored, needs to be severely restricted. There’s no other option at this point.”

Citing shocking violence statistics against women it’s difficult to disagree with Ms. Richards reasoning.

For just one, depressing statistic:

– 35% of women worldwide have experience physical violence or sexual intimate violence by a non-partner at some point. That number climbs as high as 70% when intimate partners are involved.

When asked what each side will do without the other gender, their solutions were remarkably similar. 

For women: “Sex toy technology has come a long way, and to be honest, woman are much better suited at pleasing other women then men. Besides, we can get all the emotional support we need from other women,” said Ms. Richards.

For men: “We have top men working on advancing sex robot technology. We’re confident once the two state solution takes effect that pace will exponentially accelerate. Until then we have the Web Cam Girls to fill the gap,” said Mr. Collins.

Hopes were briefly raised when both sides agreed to arbitration but talks broke down immediately after NOT ALL MENN President Collins asked for NO SIR President Richards’ number and “what she was doing after?” 

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