American Social Media Troll Mistakes British Defence Secretary Resignation as Holdover from Obama Administration

(Satire)

Today, Michael Fallon, UK’s Defence Secretary, resigned his position amidst a growing scandal involving allegations of sexual harassment some stemming as far back as fifteen years.

While no formal allegations have been made, Fallon tendered his resignation to British Prime Minister Teresa May, known in America as “The English President”, due to behavior that has “fallen short” and in an interview with the BBC, Fallon tried to excuse his behavior by suggesting that what was “acceptable 15, 10 years ago is clearly not acceptable now.”

However when news of Fallon’s resignation hit the feeds of American social media users, some confusion erupted, particularly with self described “Free Thinking Independent Rabble Rouser” and “Libtard Thread Slayer” David Davies.

“When I saw Westminster I thought they were talking about the dog show,” said Davies. “I had no idea they were talking about some English dude.”

Even though Michael Fallon, member of the Conservative Party in the UK and former Defence Secretary, bares exactly zero resemblance to US Defense Secretary James Mattis, Mr. Davies still went with his #ThanksObama post.

When I asked why he decided to blame President Obama for Fallon’s resignation, Davies gave a passionate, but unfounded, response. “He held the position for three years. Three years ago was Obama’s Tyranny. He’d totally appoint a guy like that.”

“But he didn’t. Mr. Fallon is British. Not Obama,” I said matter of factly.

“But how do you know that? I mean without doing a whole bunch of research?” Davies quipped back.

“Usually by the extra “U’s” in certain words.”

“Shit, I thought that was auto correct.”

Davies winced as he watched another incoming screen shot of his original post which condemned the Obama Administration for hiring Michael Fallon. “Why are we learning about this JUST NOW! Another Obama mess Trump had to clean up,” Davies posted on his Facebook wall with a link to an article in the Guardian.

“How was I supposed to know that’s a British publication? I thought they were in New York,” Davies said as he shook his head.

Disregarding the use of internet search engines, and a simple change of a string of words to accomplish the relatively uncomplicated task of verifying a source, Mr. Davies continued to abdicate any and all responsibility for his faux pas.

“Look I can’t be expected to know the origin of every single newspaper in the world. They really should change their name. I mean all American papers have the city in their name. Washington Post, The New York Times, Chicago Tribune, LA’s probably got one too. The Guardian just sounds American,” Davies continued without a hint of irony.

“Besides sexual harassment from a high level government official is totally an American thing to do! Not saying we have a monopoly on it, but we seem to do it a lot here. And you have a white, old guy! What else would you think?”

Davies watched in impotent rage as pictures of England, London, and the Palace of Westminster filled up his thread. “This is the problem with Libs. They claim to preach tolerance but then you make one little mistake and they’re all over you. Hypocrites,” Davies lamented before continuing to follow up on several threads about why the Mueller Investigation was a hoax, followed by lambasting women for posting #MeToo support as “lynch mob mentality”.