Sorry, Donald. Your Son is Not a “High-Quality Person”

by Kate Harveston

Refrigerators, cell phones, dress shoes; these are things you might expect to hear described as “high-quality.”

You can even check Consumer Reports, get an objective look at their performance and draw your own conclusions based on feedback from hundreds of real-world reviews. Consumer Reports should consider adding a section for American princes. They can start with our President’s own words in defense of his son, Donald Trump Jr.

Faced with the exposure of Jr’s precarious meeting with Russian lawyers and oligarchs to discuss information that might undermine the Hillary Clinton campaign, an unfazed president Trump swiftly brandished his favorite adjective-noun duo. One that most of us reserve for a Toyota Camry or, say, the celebrated Nutribullet blender. But does Trump Jr. really deserve that editor’s choice award?

Transparency Is No Get-out-of-Jail-Free Card

Ask your public relations person what the public values most in a business and you’re likely to hear the word “transparency” more than once. To earn the public trust and to remain credible, it’s important that any public entity refrains from hiding information, even if it might tarnish their reputation.

The thing about transparency is, it’s only transparency if you share the information straightaway. Admitting you knew something all along and assumed it wasn’t important isn’t transparency. That’s an excuse.

The opposite of transparency is denial. For example, Trump’s denial that the meeting between his son and Russian nationals was centered on the election. Instead, he insists, it was “primarily” a meeting to discuss a program for Americans to adopt children from Russia.

A Quality Saboteur

Trump Jr. did show plenty of gusto on his mission to snake the Clinton campaign. In the email conversation with Russian attorney Natalia Veselnitskaya, whom he would eventually meet in person, Trump Jr. expresses that “If it’s what you say I love it,” which is a reference to the lawyer’s claim of sensitive information that would incriminate Hillary Clinton.

When the media seized the chance to skewer Trump Jr. for the potential act of treason, White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee-Sanders came to the eldest Trump sibling’s aid. During an off-camera press-conference, she delivered President Trump’s choice words as part of a brief statement he prepared in defense of his son.

How to Spot Genuine Trump Quality

While this most recent act has earned Trump Jr. more media attention than, well, the rest of his entire life, Don Jr. has been building quite the quality resume while you were out. Like he told The New York Times, he’s a lot like his father because he says what’s on his mind.

That appears to be an accurate statement. For example, if you recall the time Trump Jr. expressed his opinion about how Syrian refugees are like poisoned candy, it was a very candid statement. He also enjoys expressing himself with openly white-supremacist memes and suggested that the influx of Middle Eastern refugees entering Europe to avoid civil war would bring about a “rape epidemic.”

But hey, Donald Trump Jr. isn’t a politician. He’s just a regular guy who likes to go duck hunting and run the family business while dad’s off helping us shape a high-quality society. He wears plaid shirts and jeans. Donald Trump Jr. is just like you.

As Reliable as a Swiss Watch

Except that’s not entirely true. Most people will never understand what it’s like to face the reality of being scion to Donald Trump’s legacy. Before his father was ever president, Trump Jr. was already saddled with the challenge of overcoming all of the impressive things his dad achieved using money handed down from his dad, Trump Jr’s grandpa.

Building a real-estate empire starting with only a $14 million loan (in 1975’s dollars), hosting a celebrity reality show built around the concept of firing people, becoming owner of the Miss Universe organization and appearing on multiple episodes of The Simpsons — these are the hallmarks of a man like Donald Trump. These are the things it takes to achieve true quality.

Good luck, Donald Jr. It’s an uphill battle, but you’re well on your way.

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