No matter how depressing it is to contemplate and no matter what it says about us as a country, Donald Trump will be the next President of the United States. He won the necessary 270 votes in the electoral college — not entirely fair and square, given that he had one hell of an assist from both Vladimir Putin and James Comey, but no one seems to want to go to the mat about that — and therefore he gets to take the oath of office next month. Again, depressing, infuriating even, but there’s not much anybody can do about it.
However, there’s one aspect of this supposed huge victory that you know just sticks in Trump’s craw. (You know this because he and his army of idiot surrogates are desperately trying to pretend it doesn’t.) That would be the fact that, while he won the electoral college, Trump got creamed in the popular vote. With the final tally now in, Hillary Clinton beat him soundly — by 2.8 million votes. That’s the most votes any presidential candidate has ever gotten who hasn’t actually ascended to the White House. Even his electoral college win ranks 46th of 58 contests, but it’s the popular vote loss that has Trump’s mouthpieces doing laughable logical gymnastics to justify the loss and, as Banter‘s Justin Rosario put it earlier today, protect and bolster Trump’s fragile ego.
Maybe you’ve heard about this by now. The latest Team Trump talking point is that Trump actually won the popular vote. All you have to do is remove New York and California and — presto! — Trump wins by three million votes. Yes, the conservative Daily Mail seems to have started this ridiculous meme and it’s of course caught on like wildfire among the Trump faithful. Just pretend two entire states and the 60 million who live there don’t exist and suddenly Little Donny can sleep at night without throwing a fucking tantrum because he didn’t get what he wanted. By this logic, of course, we could just remove, say, Florida and Michigan, and Clinton is officially president because she’d beat Trump in the electoral college.
Or, in the same spirit in which the knock at New York and California is surely being offered, maybe we just eliminate all those flyover states and their extras-on-Hee-Haw populations and make it a rout for Clinton? See how that works?
The fact that a lot of Trump’s supporters are comfortable going to these kinds of supremely stupid lengths to prop up the unprecedentedly flimsy presidency of Jabba the Putz speaks volumes about the overall era that’s now upon us. It’s not just post-fact; it’s the outright twisting of reality in an effort to make it fit a preconceived design, one from which its adherents absolutely refuse to deviate. As I’ve written before, Donald Trump can’t lose. To do so would obliterate his entire bullshit self-made mythology. Yeah, he may have won the electoral college and therefore the presidency, but in his mind he has to have slam-dunked the whole thing. This is why he lies, telling his dipshit rabble he won in a “landslide”; why he comes up with absurdly offensive nonsense about how he actually won the popular because Clinton got three million “illegals” to vote; and why he now basically says that he would’ve won even bigger if he’d, you know, wanted to.
And then there’s this: Having to spin a Trump popular vote victory by pretending the people who voted against him just aren’t there.
Jesus, and this whiny baby hasn’t even been inaugurated yet. Imagine what’s coming.
Chez Pazienza was the beating heart of The Daily Banter, sadly passing away on February 25, 2017. His voice remains ever present at the Banter, and his influence as powerful as ever.