Other than maybe Donald Trump and Martin Shkreli, nobody on this planet more deserves a good, old fashioned curb stomping than insufferably smug Fox News fuck-weasel Jesse Watters. Raw Story‘s Tom Boggioni still has the best description of Watters, saying that his facial expression is consistently that of a “celebratory frat bro who just escaped a rape conviction on a technicality.” Whenever Bill O’Reilly feels like comforting his audience of septuagenarian white people by reminding them that it’s still okay to make fun of minorities, the less fortunate, and clueless libtards, he dispatches Watters into the field armed only with a camera, a self-satisfied smirk, and a local news editor who thinks punctuating his packages with movie clips is clever.
Every Watters segment seems like it began as a concerted effort to be more obnoxious than the one before it. With that in mind, it should come as no surprise that there was only way to follow up Watters’s breathtakingly offensive skewering of New York City’s homelessness crisis — which involved him going to Port Authority and basically mocking those who’ve made a bus station their home — as well as his trip to Cornell University that got him kicked off campus for generally being an asshole. And so, last night, there was Watters, heading downtown to New York City’s Chinatown district to ask its residents for their thoughts on the current presidential race. Why Chinatown for such a segment you ask? Because Asians are weird stereotypes and talking to them makes for great comedy.
You kind of have to watch this clip to truly wrap your head around the fact that something like it actually exists and was aired on national television. There’s Watters asking people if they know karate and wondering aloud whether they’re selling counterfeit DVDs. There’s Watters pompously snickering at elderly Asians’ inability to understand or answer his questions. There’s Watters laughing at the fact that, according to him, people in Chinatown have no idea what’s going on in politics. There’s Watters telling O’Reilly that his favorite thing about those he talked to is that “they’re such a polite people,” because they don’t tell him to go fuck himself, which is what they should’ve done.
There’s Watters just being Watters — the prototypical president of the campus Republicans. Give the guy blonde, feathered hair and he’s the preppie dickhead bad guy in every John Hughes movie.
All that’s missing is Watters calling someone a “Chinaman.”
Seriously, one of these days somebody needs to respond to this little prick’s smug condescension by knocking him the fuck out. By the way, the Asian American Journalists Association is demanding an apology for the segment. I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were them.
Chez Pazienza was the beating heart of The Daily Banter, sadly passing away on February 25, 2017. His voice remains ever present at the Banter, and his influence as powerful as ever.