We’re just a little more than 24 hours out from actress and sentient Spago brunch Susan Sarandon’s last idiotic statement, but damned if she isn’t back again to dispense even more spacey, privileged gibberish from the Hollywood left’s old guard. It was only ten hours ago that our own Tommy Christopher published a story about how Sarandon had finally teleported herself together with H.A. Goodman and turned the two into a Brundlefly who spouts utterly delusional wish-fulfillment fantasies and has great acting chops and an almost supernaturally impressive chest. At issue was a comment made by Sarandon to a reporter in which she unequivocally stated that an indictment against Hillary Clinton was “inevitable.” “There’s going to be,” she said. “There’s going to be.” As if she were clicking her heels together three times and wishing as hard as she could.
Well, now comes this: During an interview-slash-ideological 69ing with Jordan Chariton of The Young Turks — Sanders’s own state-run news outlet — Sarandon criticized Clinton’s recent barnburner of a foreign policy speech by calling into question the candidate’s history. “She did not learn from Iraq, and she is an interventionist, and she has done horrible things… and very callously,” Sarandon fretted. “I don’t know if she is overcompensating or what her trip is. I think we’ll be in Iran in two seconds… it frightens me.” First of all, her trip? It’s 2016. Get off the fucking bus, Wavy Gravy. Second, it’s ludicrous to think any sane Democrat would take us to war with Iran — in two seconds or otherwise — when one of Barack Obama’s crowning achievements was the deal to prevent that nation from acquiring nuclear weapons and to help normalize relations as best as possible. Also, sure it’s nitpicking over a figure of speech, but Sarandon isn’t by any means one of the “we” who’d go to war with any country. She’d watch news coverage of it with sadness and consternation from her $1.75 million Greenwich Village penthouse and from the treadmill at Equinox.
All of that, though, was really just the wind-up for Sarandon’s latest imbecilic denial of the threat posed by Donald Trump, perhaps the most egregious display of privileged detachment humanly possible in this election cycle. “[Trump] is so dangerous. That is what we’re fed, but seriously I am not worried about a wall being built. He is not going to get rid of every Muslim in this country… but seriously, I don’t know what his policy is,” she said. “I do know what her policies are, I do know who she is taking money from, and I do know that she is not transparent.” So because Susan Sarandon has her head so far either in the clouds or up her own ass that she can’t or won’t see what Trump promises for the future of America, Clinton must be worse. She’s willfully ignorant of facts, so of course to her there’s no way Donald Trump would be even more generous to big business and even less transparent. (Trump, the billionaire mogul who refuses to divulge any potentially damaging personal information about himself and who bolsters his image with lies and general bullshit.)
Look, devoting a lot of time to Susan Sarandon is probably a waste. She’s way too far gone to bring back to reality and, let’s be honest, who gives a fuck what she thinks anyway? But there’s still something inherently offensive about someone of her immense wealth and privilege holding court about the beauty of “the revolution” and, basically, the necessity of breaking a few eggs to make that perfect omelette. (With those eggs being the little people who’d actually suffer and potentially die in an America controlled by Trump.) As I’ve said before, it’s a breeze to extoll the dream of a left-wing utopia and the potentially heavy collateral damage needed to make it so when you’re not the one on the firing line. I mean, why should she be concerned about a wall separating the U.S. and Mexico or the fate of Muslims under a Trump administration when none of it would impact her in the slightest? Still, the outrageous self-appointed entitlement it takes to stand on the edge of the arena and give the thumbs up or down to those who don’t have the luxury of being insulated from catastrophe, all so your great revolution can finally come to fruition — it’s fucking unconscionable.
Susan Sarandon has fantasized about a savior who’ll bring about spontaneous transformation for years — remember Ralph Nader? — but, like so many backers of the One True Savior Bernie Sanders, she won’t have to pay for it and she simply won’t settle for the incremental change that makes the lives of millions a little better day after day. She has absolute moral certitude and the condescension that inevitably comes with it, coupled with a complete lack of grasp of the facts. But she’s a movie star, so she continues to have idiots who’ll line up to ask her what she’s thinking — even though the answer is, she’s not. She’s not at all.
Chez Pazienza was the beating heart of The Daily Banter, sadly passing away on February 25, 2017. His voice remains ever present at the Banter, and his influence as powerful as ever.