Some Guy Named Lindsey Graham Just Dropped Out of The Presidential Race

This may come as a surprise, even for those of you who pay close attention to American politics: apparently South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham was actually running for president in 2016. Who knew! Either way, he’s not any more.

The definitely not gay Southern gent announced his departure from the race this morning via his YouTube channel (which has an astonishing 280 followers):

Said Graham:

Today, I’m suspending my campaign for president. I want to thank everyone who has taken this journey with me. You have honored me with your support.

I believe we’ve run a campaign you can be proud of. We put forward bold and practical solutions to big problems, like retiring our debt and fixing a broken immigration system. This has been a problem solver’s campaign.

However, the centerpiece of my campaign has been securing our nation. I got into this race to put forward a plan to win a war we cannot afford to lose and to turn back the tide of isolationism that was rising in our party. I believe we’ve made enormous progress in this effort.

Four months ago at the very first debate, I said that any candidate that did not understand that we need more American troops on the ground in Iraq and Syria to defeat ISIL was not ready to be commander-in-chief. At that time, no one stepped forward to join me. Today, most of my fellow candidates have come to recognize this is what’s needed to secure our homeland.

I am far more confident today that our party will reject the Obama doctrine of leading from behind and will provide the strong leadership America needs to restore our military, take the fight to our enemies and do what it takes to make our country safe and preserve our way of life.

This is a generational struggle that demands a strategy and the will to win. I will continue to work every day to ensure that our party – and our nation – takes on this fight. I’m suspending my campaign, but never my commitment to achieving security through strength for the American people.

God bless our fighting men and women, and God bless America.

And therein lies Graham’s problem: his campaign consisted of saying pretty much the same thing every other candidate in the Republican Party has said — terrorists are bad, we need more war, immigration needs to stop, Obama is the devil, and so on. Sadly for him, when you’ve got the likes of Donald Trump and Ted Cruz saying exactly the same thing but with a great deal more panache, you’ve got about as much chance as Mitt Romney would in a personality contest.

Ben Cohen is the editor and founder of The Daily Banter. He lives in Washington DC where he does podcasts, teaches Martial Arts, and tries to be a good father. He would be extremely disturbed if you took him too seriously.