If you want to understand the type of thinking progressives forces are up against in the eternal struggle for America’s sanity, look no further than Sarah Palin – the country’s greatest example of banal mediocrity and willful ignorance. Palin isn’t completely stupid, she’s just very not-bright, which in the Fox News era translates into huge amounts of influence and success. Palin has hacked America’s Id and now speaks for it via her facebook page.
In another gnawingly irritating and downright bizarre screed against Obama for his fictional transgressions against ‘real Americans’ (white people), Palin has outdone herself with a wonderful mixture of sexual innuendo, racism and violent rage.
Here is our translation of the full rant (Palin’s text is highlighted):
OBAMA’S IMPOTENCE; WHY HE CAN’T “DRILL, BABY, DRILL”
First, the headline. Get it? Obama isn’t a man and can’t get an erection in order to ‘drill’ women. Lovely.
Obama destroys our own oil development and pipeline proposals (http://www.usatoday.com/…/…/24/obama-keystone-veto/23879735/), and vows to bankrupt our American-made energy industry (http://newsbusters.org/…/hidden-audio-obama-tells-sf-chroni…), but is impotent against a crazy Muslim cult’s crude wealth-generating oil infrastructure.
Obama has committed the grave sin of putting our natural environment ahead of multi national oil corporation’s bottom line. This of course means he has erectile dysfunction and can’t stand up to manly Muslim terrorists.
Memo to Obama: you could destroy ISIS in a heartbeat if you wanted to. These desert rats aren’t running a covert oil operation – their rigs, pump stations, gathering centers, separation facilities, pipelines, value-added refineries, trucks and transportation corridors are right there under your nose. Bomb them. Let the United States Military do its job and kick ISIS ass… or pull out, like you promised. If you’re having a hard time spotting the enemy’s obvious funding source on the ground or in satellite images, I’m sure your trusty aides can help. Those same aides assisting you on the golf course with eagle eyes pointing you to your errant hit hundreds of yards off in the drink – surely they can pinpoint billowing oil facilities in the Islamic flatlands that are much larger than your tiny golf balls.
Remember, Arabs are rats, so let’s incinerate the lot of them with a big ol’ American bomb. But then again, Obama has small balls and can’t stand up to terrorists (other than hunting down Osama Bin Laden and executing him of course).
Physically and fiscally cut off the enemy’s funding source. Levy uncompromising, impervious sanctions against any country or corporation doing any business whatsoever with jihadists. Manufacturers, service providers, etc. Anyone in bed with the enemy gets cut off. Got it?
Use your noggin, Obama. It doesn’t take a brain surgeon to figure this out. Or maybe it does.
And here we see Sarah “I can see Russia from Alaska” Palin’s foreign policy acumen. Let’s take one problem, ignore the complexities behind it, and smash it with a hammer. We did this in Iraq back in 2003 and it worked out amazingly! Oh, and Ben Carson, a man who has no idea who America’s actual allies are, would be much better at fightin’ them terrorists.
The silver lining in these “$1.5 million daily uninterrupted ISIS-oil trade” revelations is more proof you’re barely limping along as the coalition “leader” in this fight for our security. You give even democrats one less reason to have to ask, “Who’s side are you on?” Awakened Americans aren’t just rolling over for your incompetence anymore; their arising is seen in presidential campaign polls reflecting disgust with the Washington establishment’s complicity with your dysfunction. We want a true fighter for America at the helm. We need an outsider willing to go rogue against the perceived powers-that-be in order to regain our free nation’s legitimate power.
Notice the words “limping” and “dysfunction.” Remember, Obama has a small penis and loves terrorists.
Look around, Obama. There are strong manly leaders on the world stage whom you should try to emulate in your waning days in office. Benjamin Netanyahu is on top. Learn from him. Vladimir Putin is small-headed and wrong, but at least there’s no question he puts his country first – and he can wrestle grizzly bears – so on that front, learn from him.
And of course, any one of our brave women and men in uniform today, and our honored vets who proudly wore the uniform yesterday, can teach you a thing or two about defeating the enemy so America can be great again.
Obama is not a man. Obama has a small penis and should listen to men like Netanyahu and Putin, who have big penises.
Letting Muslim terrorists buy and sell oil to fund the destruction of innocents while you thwart American-made energy opportunities is sick and sinful. Wimpy hacks in your lap representing media won’t call you out on this, so we will. We ask: from the most powerful office in the world, with the greatest military might wearing our red, white and blue, what are you doing to interrupt the terrorist’s obvious funding source? What are you doing to destroy them before they destroy us?
– Sarah Palin
Other than killing Osama Bin Laden, extending America’s presence in Afghanistan, fighting a lethal drone war, and thwarting Iran’s nuclear ambitions, Obama really is wimpy on foreign policy. Oh, and he has a small penis in case you didn’t get the picture.
Ben Cohen is the editor and founder of The Daily Banter. He lives in Washington DC where he does podcasts, teaches Martial Arts, and tries to be a good father. He would be extremely disturbed if you took him too seriously.