Donald Trump’s campaign spent at least part of the weekend getting its ass handed to it on national television by 60 Minutes‘s Scott Pelley. But before the weekend even began, Trump was on the campaign trail letting America know by way of a cheap red hat that he’s ready to make America great again. On Friday, he appeared at a rally at the Oklahoma Fair alongside a double-bill of Foreigner and Loverboy* to greet his fans and tell them how terrific, spectacular and amazing his presidency is going to be.
One of those fans, as it turns out was Duck Dynasty star and redneck cosplayer Willie Robertson, son of family patriarch Phil Robertson, whom one can assume still dislikes gay people because a book written 2,000 years ago says he should. For a while now, given that Duck Dynasty is based in Louisiana, Willie Robertson has been backing Middle Earth’s own Bobby Jindal in his misguided run for the presidency. But Robertson knows a winner — or at the very least a giant orange reactionary head — when he sees one, which might explain why he seems to be switching his allegiance over to Trump.
At the rally and at Trump’s personal invitation, Robertson took the podium and said, word for word, “I do like me some Trump!” Once he got the crowd’s attention with that duck call, he continued with, “I’ve gotta admit. Here’s the deal. We’re both successful businessmen. We both have pretty big shows on television. We both have wives that are 1,000 times better looking than us so I like Trump.” The crowd, needless to say, went wild, as you’d expect it would at the implication of the most terrifying swingers’ party imaginable.
So there you have it, a perfect little snapshot of American politics at the moment: two asshole reality stars being genuflected before by a crowd full of whooping yokels. Over the weekend, Bill Maher commented on the tendency of conservatives wrap their sweaty bingo wings around any average idiot they can point to and hail as a real American. Kim Davis, Cliven Bundy, Joe the Plumber — the obsession with people like these, people who more often than not wind up blowing up in their faces, amounts to action figure politics. They don’t take serious people seriously — they take people seriously who aren’t the least bit serious. People like Donald Trump. People like Willie Robertson. And we all suffer for it.
*I assume anyway.
Chez Pazienza was the beating heart of The Daily Banter, sadly passing away on February 25, 2017. His voice remains ever present at the Banter, and his influence as powerful as ever.