For some time now I’ve been trying to put into words why I feel like I’m completely burned out on whatever the hell it is America has become. We’ve finally reached a point in this country where our unapologetic stupidity has been weaponized and there’s just no way for someone of my meager talents to make it funny anymore.
Sure, the rise of presidential candidate Donald Trump was good for a few laughs when his political legerdemain did nothing more than crash the Republican party from the inside out. But as Matt Taibbi said so well a few days ago, he stopped being amusing the minute his anti-immigrant rants began lighting a fire under people violent enough to do something about the supposed infestation problem. Now Trump is nothing more than our logical conclusion, the embodiment of the American id unleashed and the monster created by all that toxic waste dumped into our national discourse by Fox News and talk radio.
But though I can’t explain my disaffection to you in a couple of sentences I’d actually be proud of, maybe I can let one of Trump’s minions do it for me. Maybe one of the legion of idiots who supports this arrogant clown can say something that will help express my overwhelming exhaustion with us, or at least serve as a perfect illustration of why it’s time to just give the fuck up.
And so, there’s this: Last night, Republican pollster and heroic 12-year-old Down Syndrome sufferer Frank Luntz put together a focus group of Trump supporters in an effort to get a bead on whatever syphilitic infection was eating away most of their brains. Time magazine documented the event, the conclusions of which were apparently so shocking that Luntz said they caused his legs to shake.
What Luntz found was that Trump’s supporters are diehards, that they worship at the altar of Trump regardless of the fact that they’ll admit he’s guilty of “misogyny, political flip flops and awe-inspiring braggadocio.” There were those on the 29-person panel who declared that Trump is “saying what needs to be said,” and those who claimed, Goldwater-like, that “when he talks, deep down somewhere you’re going, ‘Holy crap, someone is thinking the same way I am.’” But those expressions of frustration and solidarity were just the lead up to the quote of the night. Maybe the quote of the election cycle. Certainly the quote that perfectly sums up both the average Donald Trump supporter and the state of our nation as a whole.
Said one woman interviewed by Luntz, “We know his goal is to make America great again — it’s on his hat. And we see it every time he’s on TV.”
As terrific writer Luke O’Neil says, this is a quote that bears repeating. “We know his goal is to make America great again — it’s on his hat.” It’s on his fucking hat, and as you know hats can always be trusted. Jesus, no wonder these people support Trump for president — every time you see the guy he’s got a big sign in front of him that says “Trump for President.”
Since Donald Trump wears a hat that says “Make America Great Again” everywhere he goes, you know he’s serious about making America great again. It makes perfect sense. It’s on his hat.
And that sums it up. From now on, whenever anyone asks me why I’ve completely checked out, my answer is going to be, “It’s on his hat.”