Donald Trump’s speech announcing his 2016 campaign at the Trump Tower in New York City yesterday was a spectacle that will go down in American history. The billionaire real estate mogul wasted no time laying out his case to become President that included calling Mexican immigrants rapists, claiming God created him to create jobs, and using his knowledge of air conditioning units to create a military strategy against ISIS.
If you had any doubts as to whether Trump was ready to run for President, these 10 quotes should clear them up for you pretty quickly. The Donald is ready America, so buckle up.
1. Donald sewing up the Mexican vote:
When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re sending people that have lots of problems. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists.
2. On using his expertise in air conditioning to create a competent ISIS strategy:
Some of the candidates, they went in and didn’t know the air conditioner didn’t work and sweated like dogs, and they didn’t know the room was too big because they didn’t have anybody there. How are they going to beat ISIS?
3. On how he would fix HealthCare.gov:
We have a 5 billion dollar website. I have so many websites … I hire people. They do a website. It costs me three dollars.
4. Donald showing his diplomacy skills:
When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let’s say, China in a trade deal? They kill us. I beat China all the time.
5. On God making him to make jobs:
I will be the greatest jobs president that God ever created.
6. On getting Mexicans to build a wall to keep themselves out of America:
I will build a great wall — and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me —and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.
They built a hotel. When I build a hotel, I have to pay interest. They don’t have to pay interest because they took the oil when we left Iraq, I said we should have taken. So now ISIS has the oil.
8. On politicians using the moon to distract people:
I watch the speeches of these people, and they say the sun will rise, the moon will set, all sorts of wonderful things will happen, and people are saying, ‘What is going on? I just want a job.’
9. On free trade:
Free trade is terrible. Free trade can be wonderful if you have smart people. But we have stupid people.
10. On why we need a President who wrote Donald Trump’s The Art of the Deal:
We need a leader that wrote The Art of the Deal.
Donald Trump will be President in 2016, so don’t doubt him you losers.
Ben Cohen is the editor and founder of The Daily Banter. He lives in Washington DC where he does podcasts, teaches Martial Arts, and tries to be a good father. He would be extremely disturbed if you took him too seriously.