This Week in Florida Crazy: The Invasion of Flesh Eating Bacteria

As if Florida wasn’t suffering enough from face eating zombies, climate change denying politicians, KKK prison guards, and deadly snake kissing morons, a flesh-eating deadly bacteria has been found in Florida beaches that is activated by warm weather. Reports the Palm Beach Post:

The Vibrio vulnificus bacterium grows fastest in warm saltwater and it “has already infected at least seven people and killed two this year in Florida,” according to ABC News. The Florida state health department said there have been 32 cases in the past 12 months. According to the state health department, a spike in cases occurs in May-October when water is the warmest.

The consequences of coming into contact with this bacteria really is no joke. The report continues:

Consuming or handling raw shellfish and swimming in warm saltwater areas can put people at risk, Burger said. “People with open wounds can be exposed to Vibrio vulnificus through direct contact with seawater,” she said. The bacterial infection can cause gastroenteritis, sepsis and can lead to amputations…

Of course global warming is going to make this horrifying bacteria spread even faster, but then Florida doesn’t believe in global warming so there’s no need to worry!

Ben Cohen is the editor and founder of The Daily Banter. He lives in Washington DC where he does podcasts, teaches Martial Arts, and tries to be a good father. He would be extremely disturbed if you took him too seriously.