Eventually, as our ever-decreasing national attention span finally shrinks below 140 characters and each bit of art is reclassified as a brand and nothing more, Hollywood will begin repurposing every successful movie within five years. It’s already pretty much doing this with Spiderman, deciding apparently that either we all suffer from a kind of cultural amnesia or we simply don’t care that we’re being fed the same thing over and over again with one or two tweaks and a couple of new faces in the mix.
Eventually, any film will be able to become a Bond-style franchise, with us asking no more important a question about it than, “I wonder who’s going to play (insert main character here) next time.” The studios will be rebooting your favorite movie over and over again until the end of time, because there’s just nothing that they can’t ruin anymore. There will be no more classics and not even any good nostalgia. There will just be a giant pile of shit reaching the heavens, where God doesn’t live anymore because the 18th version of Pulp Fiction will prove he’s fucking given up on us all.
Here, suck on the trailer for the reboot of Point Break. It’s everything you knew it would be. It’s Fast & Furious 8, which is itself Point Break 9. It’s XXX 3.
Chez Pazienza was the beating heart of The Daily Banter, sadly passing away on February 25, 2017. His voice remains ever present at the Banter, and his influence as powerful as ever.