(Image: Televangelist Mücahid Cihad Han)
If myths about walking on water, God-sent locust plagues and alien “thetans” weren’t enough to convince you that organized religion is bonkers, one Turkish man has taken religious idiocy to a whole new level.
Welcome to the entirely new concept of the “Pregnant Masturbating Hand”.
Turkish news source Hurriyet Daily Newshas reported on a Muslim televangelist who claimed that men engaging in masturbation would find their hand “pregnant in the afterlife” and “asking for its rights.” Yes, you read that correctly. Hurriyet reported:
Self-styled televangelist Mücahid Cihad Han dived into some delicate matters on May 24 when he answered his viewers’ questions on private television station 2000 TV, Turkish media has reported. Han initially looked puzzled when a viewer said he “kept masturbating, although he was married, and even during the Umrah,” a pilgrimage to Mecca performed by Muslims which can be undertaken at any time of the year, in contrast to the Hajj.
After repeating the question a few times, Han claimed that Islam strictly prohibits masturbation as a “haram” (forbidden) act. “Moreover, one hadith states that those who have sexual intercourse with their hands will find their hands pregnant in the afterlife, complaining against them to God over its rights,” he said, referring to what he claimed to be a saying of Prophet Muhammad.
“If our viewer was single, I could recommend he marry, but what can I say now?” the televangelist added, advising the viewer to “resist Satan’s temptations.”
The Quran makes no reference to masturbation, so Han has gone off on his own here in deciding self pleasure is a mortal sin. Turkish society hasn’t taken to this interpretation, and Han has apparently been ridiculed in the press and lampooned on social media.
One wonders why…
Ben Cohen is the editor and founder of The Daily Banter. He lives in Washington DC where he does podcasts, teaches Martial Arts, and tries to be a good father. He would be extremely disturbed if you took him too seriously.