Every once in a while, (sh)it happens: A plane in flight dumps a bunch of dumps that fall to the ground and then maybe gets some news coverage. But on Monday, Fox 29 in Philadelphia set the gold standard on giving the scoop on poop after a 16-year-old girl’s birthday party was ruined when human feces began raining down on party-goers. As you’re about to see, field reporter Brad Sattin had way too much fun relaying what happened in a segment that began with him sporting — dare I say — a shit-eating grin:
“This was a sweet 16 party, family deciding to have a bit of a drop-in, but it’s what dropped in at around 7:40 last night that really turned this party into quite the stinker.
“A couple observations of sweet 16 parties. Number one: You only get one in your lifetime. And number two, shouldn’t be there. But it was. Number two that is. At Jacinda’s sweet 16 party in Levittown Sunday evening, and it came from the sky.
“We are standing at ground zero.
“Joe Cambray — Jacinda’s stepfather — was playing horseshoes in the backyard, others were swimming, about 40 people where there, when it started raining. Only, it wasn’t raining.
“It slammed into the middle of his canopy — the canopy he just bought hours earlier to gives his guests a little protection from the elements, not realizing of course which element he’d be protecting them from.
“We’ll spare you the close up. Trust us, it’s there.
“The FAA tells us all airplanes are required to dispose of the waste at an airport, which means in airport lingo, Jacinda’s sweet 16 party certainly would’ve qualified as a doody-free zone.”
Pun-filled? Yes. A bit cheesy? Perhaps. Hilarious nonetheless? You better believe it.
Well done, sir.