Quote of the Day: There… There’s Your Tearful Apology for That Stupid F*cking Shirt the Comet Scientist Wore

“I made a big mistake and I offended many people and I’m very sorry about this.”

— British physicist Matt Taylor

You may not recognize Taylor’s name but you almost certainly know his accomplishment from earlier this week. Oh, and if you’re a petty little asshole, you’ve been dwelling on his bowling shirt and bitching about it on the internet.

Matt Taylor is the guy who spoke for the European Space Agency on Wednesday after the organization made history by successfully landing a probe on a comet. He’s an honest-to-god genius and he was overjoyed as he touted his team’s truly awe-inspiring accomplishment, one that celebrated mankind’s never-ending thirst for exploration and which has the potential to legitimately benefit this planet in unimaginable ways. Again, his team landed a probe on a fucking comet.

And yet back here on big, dumb earth the real story from this announcement was that Matt Taylor chose to wear a ridiculously tasteless shirt — one covered with comic book-like drawings of bikini-clad girls with guns — when making it.

Taylor’s fashion sense, or lack thereof, was immediately decried as sexist and it launched hashtags like #ShirtGate and #ShirtStorm. It led to outrage and disappointment as expressed in articles like this one and tweets like this one and this one. It got Taylor, an admittedly proudly unconventional guy who’s covered in tattoos and who rarely dresses up, labeled a misogynist.

So earlier today he apologized. Actually, he didn’t just apologize — he broke down and cried during a live news conference. Because people lost their minds over his stupid goddamn shirt.

I swear, we really don’t deserve to ever be able to leave this planet and if there’s any justice in the universe that comet will slam into us.

Chez Pazienza was the beating heart of The Daily Banter, sadly passing away on February 25, 2017. His voice remains ever present at the Banter, and his influence as powerful as ever.