Know how I know Sen. Ted Cruz’s (R-TX) opinion on net neutrality is insane? Alex Jones totally agrees with him about it. In fairness to Cruz, Jones — the radio conspiracy theorist and sentient throat polyp — totally clobbered Godwin’s Law more than the senator ever has, referring to net neutrality as a “high tech version of what the Soviets and the Nazis and the Chinese Communists and Fidel Castro and every other nut ball did.” He forgot Bin Laden, Vlad Dracula and goblins.
This might be one of Jones’ most unhinged breakdowns, if that’s even possible. At several points along the way, his face literally turns several shades of purple as he belches through what sounds like the last remaining bits of his sand-papery vocal cords.
He begins with a completely unsubstantiated accusation that the White House’s proposal for free WiFi includes blocking InfoWars.com and DrudgeReport.com.
“You have no rights on that Wifi, and you can’t get to InfoWars.com or DrudgeReport.com. That the White House officials have said they want to shut down, basically.”
Who are these officials? Basically? There’s literally nothing anywhere proving that President Obama is singling out Drudge and Alex Jones, blocking both sites from this WiFi plan. But I’m sure Jones has the documents somewhere in the form of a tabloidy article from his own website. By the way, Jones does this all the time, suggesting the government is out to silence him. He’s been saying this for nearly the entire 13 year history of the show, and wow — he’s miraculously still on the air.
Then it gets really crazy. Again, this about net neutrality. Remember that.
“Do you think they like strong, hard core men? Who’ve killed a bunch of people?”
“You think they actually like the real instrument?”
“They fear you! They hate you! They shake! They’re going to destroy you, so you go ahead and you serve ’em, and you sell your family out, and you sell your name out, and you sell your soul out BECAUSE I GUESS THEY ARE GOD!”
I have no idea what any of that means, but he sure was angry about it. By the way, Jones is exploiting the paranoia of his audience for his own financial gain. If that’s not selling out, I don’t know what is.
Jones goes on to add the Mafia to his list of net neutrality metaphors, suggesting that Obama’s pledge to protect internet equality is the same as Mafia protection. A shake-down, basically. Then he lapses into various voices, including Clint Eastwood for some reason.
“Bottom line, ladies and gentleman, Obamacare is now moving to the internet. Federal regulation and control, written for select corporations, right out the FCC, to shut down all their competition… I like Ted Cruz, he knows what he’s talking about.”
Again, this gobbledeegook about allowing “select corporations” take over the internet is exactly the opposite of what would happen under Obama’s plan. The regulations would ensure that corporations don’t get favorable treatment with bigger pipes for content delivery, yet this opposite-day line from Alex Jones is also being peddled by the Republican Party and Fox News Channel, further blurring the line between the mental-patient fringe and the establishment GOP.