Back when I used to do a lot of acid, my friends and I had a kind of routine we’d follow to achieve maximum fucked-upedness. We’d drop, wait for the opening waves — which would be announced by the walls starting to breathe — then spend the “peak” time wiping colors around on an oriental rug, or pulling the sound from the stereo directly into our ear canals, or trying to get past the cat into the bathroom (because the cat always knows when you’re high and will thwart you at every turn). Occasionally we’d watch a cult video from the “Something Weird” series to get us primed, but otherwise most trips followed the same initial trajectory.
Once things started calming down a little and we moved past the “everything is amazing” phase into the “everything is fucking hilarious” phase, we’d usually turn on the TV and watch public access cable. Because public access cable is always crazy. But if I were 23 again and still spending my weekends tripping balls, my friends and I would probably be watching Cartoon Network’s “Adult Swim.” Because, as you know if you’ve ever watched any of its programming, “Adult Swim” is made for people on drugs — probably by people on drugs.
Their stuff is hilariously surreal by design, but late last night they aired something that almost seemed like it could’ve been engineered in a secret lab by a madman for the express purpose of driving whoever watched it insane. It’s almost impossible to describe other than to say that it starts off as a parody of an 80s sitcom’s opening credits — but then it just goes on and on and gets weirder and weirder until you’re laughing maniacally and can’t stop. Apparently, nobody knows what the hell this thing is all about or who made it, but I can’t stress to you enough how you have to watch it.
If I were high while seeing this, I’d either laugh myself to death or become so paranoid that I’d barricade myself in the bathroom with a kitchen knife. If I could get past the cat.
Chez Pazienza was the beating heart of The Daily Banter, sadly passing away on February 25, 2017. His voice remains ever present at the Banter, and his influence as powerful as ever.