How sad is former future Republican President Mitt Romney’s life now? Reduced to the emcee slot for Iowa’s Deliverance candidate for Senate, Romney cracked an Obama joke on Sunday that looks lame on paper, but is downright tragic on video. The National Journal‘s Shane Goldmacher helpfully posted a transcript Romney’s joke, which is making the rounds on the interwebs on this slow news Columbus Day. Here it is in its entirety, save the sad trombone sound that science hasn’t figured out how to spell yet:
President Obama went to the bank to cash a check and he didn’t have his ID. And the teller said you’ve got to prove who you are.
He said, “How should I do that?” She said the other day Phil Mickelson came in, he didn’t have his ID but he set up a little cup on the ground, took a golf ball, putted it right into that cup so they knew it was Phil Mickelson. They cashed his check.
And then Andre Agassi came in. And Andre Agassi didn’t have his ID either. He put a little target on the wall, took a tennis ball and racquet– hit it onto that target time. We knew that was Andre Agassi so we cashed his check.
And she said to him, “Is there anything you can do to prove who you are?” And [Obama] said, “I don’t have a clue.”
And she said, “Well, Mr. President, do you want your money in small bills or large bills.”
Aside from the fact that this joke seems to be mostly plagiarized from Republican voter I.D. model legislation, it’s a great illustration of the GOP base, who are the only people who still think you go to “banks” and cash “checks,” and that Andre Agassi is still a thing.
On video, though, the thing gets exponentially sadder, as you see that Romney is performing his joke at a Joni Ernst rally that appears to be taking place in the food court of District 13, and the geniuses in the crowd don’t know when to laugh. I’ve bolded the punchline above so you can compare it to when the audience loses its shit:
Yes, they’re dumb, but more than that, they are a great example of the fuel that runs the engine of the modern Republican Party: hostility, mostly toward Barack Obama. It’s a hostility that’s even more evident in Romney’s two other laugh lines, which were both about Joni Ernst and knives and balls:
Stop me if you’ve heard this one: Guy walks into a presidential campaign, twice…