If this isn’t cause for a #BoycottColbert 2: Electric Boogaloo, then I don’t know what is. Future Late Show host and current right-wing FUNdit™ Stephen Colbert may have crossed the line that finally gets him booted from the airwaves (yes, I know he’s not actually on any “airwaves,” it’s just a figure of speech) when, on Tuesday night’s edition of The Colbert Report, he hurled a vile racial slur at the entire Republican Party. While interviewing Rep. Jared Huffman (D-Calif) for his long-running “Better Know a District” series, Colbert made the following “joke” about Huffman being a member of both the “wine caucus” and the “cheese caucus”:
“I think the cr**ker caucus is just the entire Republican Party.”
Imagine, for a moment, that some TV hosted told a black lawmaker that “the ni**er caucus is just the entire Democratic Party,” only without saying “n-word,” but the actual n-word? He’d be off the air before you could say “Nabisco, please!”
Speaking of which, once we’ve successfully booted Colbert off the air, we need to get to work on that entire industry, and boycott their products until they start calling them “really thin, sugarless cookies.”
But white people have been taking this for far too long. I don’t mean being called “cracker,” which is about the most innocuous excuse for a slur that you’ll ever hear. Hell, there are even worse things you can call white people, like “late for dinner,” amirite? (Trust me, that joke kills with white people).
No, we’ve got to stop using the “c-word” on ourselves until black people erase their oppressive double-standard on the use of the n-word. They can say it, but white people can’t, which makes us expend a whole lot of time and energy thinking up ways to say it without saying it. The Republicans have done a Manhattan Project’s worth of R&D on that, and do you think white people thank them for it? No, they pretend like they never even did it!
This is just one more way to keep the white man down, along with making fun of us for hiking (not all white people hike! Granted, we all have hiked, but a lot of us stop after awhile) and having one black friend (a lot of us are just lying about that), and we should stop accepting it. White people should stop using the c-word until everyone can use every something-word.
Imagine what white people could do if they didn’t have to spend all this time trying not to say the n-word, even as black people taunt us by saying it with impunity?
I bet we could rule the world.