The place I call home gave America the Manson family, the Night Stalker, and O.J. In other words, you’re welcome. There’s just something about an area as bright and shiny on the outside as Southern California that leaves you with the unsettling feeling that there are forces equally dark and sinister underneath it all the keep the balance — and like so much here, our weirdos and have a flair for the dramatic. That extends to the latest odd character making him or herself known by scaring the hell out of a bunch of people — in this case, little girls and their families.
According to local station KTLA, 11 porcelain dolls have been mysteriously left on the doorsteps of eight different homes in one community in San Clemente throughout the week. Each of the dolls bears a striking resemblance to a little girl who lives at the house at which it was left, and no one can figure out where these things came from. Obviously, the families are completely freaked out and fear for the safety of their daughters — since porcelain dolls are fucking terrifying, even if they come from someone who means no harm — and police are of course investigating.
There isn’t much more information on this right now — other than to say that it could be worse.
Update 7.25.14: Someone I spoke to on Twitter yesterday predicted the culprit behind this was going to be a completely benign woman just trying to make some little girls happy. Turns out that was the case. I now feel like the most cynical bastard alive.
Chez Pazienza was the beating heart of The Daily Banter, sadly passing away on February 25, 2017. His voice remains ever present at the Banter, and his influence as powerful as ever.