In this week’s edition of The Daily Banter Mail Bag, Bob, Ben and Chez respond to questions first used by Bernard Pivot.
The question from reader “James L”:
1) I submit to you the questionnaire that was used by Bernard Pivot:
What is your favorite word?
‘Banter’. I sort of have to say that though.
Chez: Dad (I was gonna answer “jism”, mostly because it’s just fun to say, but sentimentality wins the day.)
Bob: “Monkey.” Invariably funny in any story or situation.
What is your least favorite word?
Ben: C**t. (But without the stars…)
What turns you on?
Chez: A foul mouth. An anything-goes attitude when it comes to humor.
Bob: Dark Mediterranean femininity. My wife, basically.
Ben: Flat stomachs, dark hair, and a sense of humor.
What turns you off?
Chez: Ideologues. Stridency.
Ben: Someone who takes themselves too seriously.
What is your favorite curse word?
Chez: Any variation of “fuck.”
Ben: Bollocks. I fucking love that word. Fuck comes second.
What sound or noise do you love?
Chez: Besides my kid laughing? Keys on a keyboard being tapped. Women’s heels clicking on pavement.
Bob: The helicopter rotors during the Tour de France.
Ben: I love the sound of the ocean. And Sigur Ros.
What sound or noise do you hate?
Chez: The sound of two idiots arguing overtop of each other on cable news.
Bob: Fire alarms.
Ben: Mark Levin’s voice. It makes me want to strangle him
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Chez: I’d like to be a writer. I’m not sure I’m one now.
Bob: Gettysburg Licensed Battlefield Guide.
Ben: I have always wondered whether I could have made it as a professional boxer. Not sure I had the stomach for it though. It’s a painful game.
What profession would you not like to do?
Chez: Politician — or maybe a rodeo clown.
Bob: Anything third-shift.
Ben: Anything where I have a boss.
If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
Chez: “I wouldn’t have believed it either.”
Bob: “Nicely done.”
Ben: “Don’t worry, we have a coffee machine”