The End of Ann Coulter: The World Cup Rant That No One Cares About

Ann Coulter’s latest attempt to make headlines and keep her dying brand alive is a great example of a media figure grappling with the final moments of their relevancy. Coulter’s bizarre rant about the growing interest in soccer in America being “a sign of the nation’s moral decay” was a sort of half-assed attempt to equate European team sports with socialism because they don’t value individual achievement or something (this is particularly funny given Cristiano Ronaldo make $73 million a year compared to the NFL’s highest paid player, Matt Ryan, who makes $43.8 million…).

Coulter’s reasons for hating soccer include gripes like, “Soccer is like the metric system,” (forced upon the world by Europeans) and the fact that, “You can’t use your hands in soccer.” 

Coulter’s piece did the rounds on Twitter and various media outlets, provoking the usual outrage and disbelief that someone could crap on the sport while the U.S. team advanced admirably through the World Cup group stages. That is of course, why she wrote it.

The truth is, no one really gives a shit what Coulter says about anything these days as her shtick is about as original as Britney Spears’ latest album. Most major outlets don’t pay her any attention as her toxic brand of xenophobia and liberal baiting stopped being amusing at least half a decade ago.

The shock books Coulter peddles every couple of years or so have been in steep decline since 2009 with every release doing worse than the last. Coulter has clearly tried to combat her rapidly evaporating fan base by saying crazier and crazier shit – and it’s not working. For example, here’s the blurb on the latest book she’s flogging on Amazon:

You have NEVER seen Coulter like this before! Coulter is uncensored, unapologetic, and unflinching in her ruthless mockery of liberals, sissies, morons, hypocrites, and all other species of politician.

Yes, we’ve NEVER seen Coulter being unapologetic/mocking liberals!

Coulter’s soccer rant got her a good 24 hours of media attention, but she shouldn’t expect much more after the weekend. No doubt she’ll think up another monstrously offensive piece of vitriol in the coming months to up book sales and keep her 401k ticking over, but she knows as well as everyone else that the show can’t go on forever.

It has been fun Ann, but it’s time to give it a rest. The only thing decaying is you.

Ben Cohen is the editor and founder of The Daily Banter. He lives in Washington DC where he does podcasts, teaches Martial Arts, and tries to be a good father. He would be extremely disturbed if you took him too seriously.