U.S.’s World Cup Advancement May Bring Huge Bonus Victory: Piers Morgan Never Coming Back Here

Photo: Matthias Schrader/Associated Press

In case you haven’t heard, we lost the battle but won the war in the World Cup today. The U.S. national team lost 1/nil to a powerhouse German club, but we still advance out of our group and into the knockout round. Over the past couple of weeks, the U.S.A. has played with heart and guts and they deserve to survive the “group of death” and move forward.

England, however, wasn’t so lucky within its own group. The team could never really pull it together and they’re now officially out of the World Cup for 2014. But our victory — and England’s loss — may wind up meaning something much more for our country and people than simply bragging rights and a shot at the quarter-finals. It may mean we never have to hear from the insufferable Piers Morgan again.

Last week, Morgan tweeted out this little gem:

Uruguay went on to beat England in that match.

Then today, during our match, Morgan fired off this:

First of all, it’s interesting that Morgan is so defensive and condescending here, given that the U.S. and England made it the same distance in the tournament back in 2010. (Both made it to the knockout stage; neither exited.) But that being said, let’s just take Piers Morgan’s sour grapes here as a backhanded compliment, kindly thank him, and invite him to please keep his word fuck off once and for all.

(via Mediaite)

Chez Pazienza was the beating heart of The Daily Banter, sadly passing away on February 25, 2017. His voice remains ever present at the Banter, and his influence as powerful as ever.