Ted Cruz has done what any God fearing American should do if they happen to have been born outside of America (and are potentially running for President in the next 18 months); renounced their country of birth.
In a move that really stuck it to the socialistic land of free medical care and no gun massacres, Cruz officially renounced his Canadian citizenship and bragged about it though his press secretary’s twitter account:
— Catherine Frazier (@catblackfrazier) June 10, 2014
Got that straight ‘Murica? Y’all better listen up! Ted Cruz ain’t no Goddamn Canadian!!
According to Cruz, even though he spent the first four years of his life in Calgary, he didn’t even know about his Canadian citizenship (because obviously, backwards countries like Canada don’t do the whole birth certificate thing). So therefore his foreignness doesn’t count, unlike Obama, who knew full well he was a secret Muslim before running for President.
Cruz’s move puts the onus on Obama to do the right thing and renounce him Islamic citizenship so that Americans can see which side he stands on. After all, the President never released his actual birth certificate (other than the obviously fake one on the White House website), and what kind of American is called ‘Hussein’ anyway?
Ben Cohen is the editor and founder of The Daily Banter. He lives in Washington DC where he does podcasts, teaches Martial Arts, and tries to be a good father. He would be extremely disturbed if you took him too seriously.