A Douchetime Odyssey: Greg Gutfeld and Guest Try Their Best To Dismiss Neil deGrasse Tyson

It won’t surprise anyone to learn that Fox News has a bug up its ass about Neil deGrasse Tyson. Tyson is brilliant, disregards ridiculous concepts like religious faith and puts his trust almost entirely in provable science, and through his current pop culture status has been able to take a baseball bat to the kind of intellectual violence Fox News commits and promotes almost daily. The right — particularly the religious right — can’t get enough of bashing Tyson but in the end it hardly matters: he has science on his side while all they have is whiney dismissals and bronze-age fairy tales.

When it comes to being a smug little prick, nobody at Fox News tops Greg Gutfeld. Sure, Doocy and Kilmead are equally deft at laughing off scientific truths that run contrary to their political orthodoxy, but they just come off like clowns. Gutfeld actually bothers to throw on his glasses when batting down the liberal menace of, you know, reality, as a means of making it look as if he’s actually got something going on between his ears that qualifies him to play on the same field as a Neil deGrasse Tyson.

A couple of nights ago, Vice co-founder Gavin McInnes ripped into Tyson during an appearance on Gutfeld’s late-night show Red Eye. He said he “hates” Tyson, mostly because, according to McInnes, white liberals love him, which as you know is a standard and completely rational reason for any conservative to dislike anything at all these days. If the “libtards” love it, it must suck. Here’s McInnes:

“I remember hearing Chris Hardwick on a podcast talk about Neil deGrasse Tyson and he was just salivating. White liberal nerds love this guy so much, he could defecate on them like Martin Bashir’s fantasies and they would dance in the streets.”

What the hell anybody’s race would have to do with whether he or she appreciates the work of Neil deGrasse Tyson is beyond me, but when you don’t have the benefit of scientific fact to back up your attacks I guess you go with whatever angry stupidity is left. It would be easy to beat up on McInnes, but really he’s nothing more than a pseudo-literary Joe Francis, so why bother. Gutfeld on the other hand had the best line of the night. Setting up McInnes he jokingly scoffed at Tyson’s credentials, calling him an “astrophysicist — yeah, right.” Now granted this was probably a joke and Tyson, while of immense cultural importance right now, isn’t beyond a little ribbing. But still, just because it’s fun let’s compare their educational backgrounds. Neil deGrasse Tyson has a BA in physics from Harvard, a master’s in astronomy from the University of Texas, and another master’s as well as a Ph.D in astrophysics from Columbia. So, just for the record, yes — he’s an astrophysicist. Greg Gutfeld meanwhile got a bachelor’s in English from Berkeley. Most people are smarter than Greg Gutfeld. Tyson makes him look like a three-year-old who somehow ate paint chips in the womb.

By the way, McInnes went on to bitch about how Tyson claimed that in his youth he was racially profiled. “He talks about things like, ‘when I was young in New York I would get racially profiled when I’d go into stores.’ Back then he looked like he was in The Warriors. He had a huge afro and a cutoff shirt and New York was a war zone. Sorry, you fit the profile.”

If you ever wondered if any show with Gutfeld on it could get any more douchey, well there you have it.

Chez Pazienza was the beating heart of The Daily Banter, sadly passing away on February 25, 2017. His voice remains ever present at the Banter, and his influence as powerful as ever. 

LATEST FOR BANTER MEMBERS: Trump And Putin Are Setting The Table For World War IIIRead Now
+ +