Gather ’round, kids, because grandpa’s gonna tell you a story.
Long before Ozzy Osbourne was a lovable, doddering doofus on reality TV he was a lovable, doddering doofus who masqueraded as a malevolent, possibly Satan-worshipping madman who fronted metal legends Black Sabbath and had a hugely successful solo career (but whose mastery of the dark arts still couldn’t save his brilliant guitarist from being killed in a plane crash).
Among the many tales of drunken debauchery that fueled his reputation during his heyday was the infamous 1982 bat-biting incident. During a show in Des Moines, Ozzy bit the head off a bat that somebody had tossed onto the stage; he apparently thought the thing was fake and didn’t realize what he’d done until, well, the bat bit him back during the last second of its life. This was of course a huge deal at the time and just made teen metalheads love him all the more, possibly because it made terrified Christians proclaim even more loudly that he might be the devil incarnate.
Fast forward to today. Ozzy is now apparently trying to turn a barn located on his English estate into a two-bedroom home, but the brakes have been put on the renovation plans by the Buckinghamshire town council. The council says Ozzy can’t go ahead with the conversion because the barn is inhabited by — bats. British law, as it turns out, protects bats, and Ozzy is now being told that before any further work can be done on the barn he’ll have to take steps to safeguard the well-being of the bats who call it home.
Karma may not always be instant, but it’s always a bitch.
Chez Pazienza was the beating heart of The Daily Banter, sadly passing away on February 25, 2017. His voice remains ever present at the Banter, and his influence as powerful as ever.