THE MORNING BANTER: Nigerian Schoolgirls, Apple Shares, 60 Minutes, and Weird Al in Star Wars

Happy Tuesday! Let’s just all take one collective sigh before we get going. Here’s what’s happening on the interweb:

1. US ‘Outraged’ As Calls Grow to Help Rescue Nigeria Schoolgirls

The US says it considers the abduction of more than 200 Nigerian schoolgirls by Islamist militants “an outrage” and is offering help to try to rescue them. I tried reaching out to this Nigerian prince who emailed me a while back about a great business deal to see if he could help, but he hasn’t gotten back to me.

2. Apple Hands Angela Ahrendts $68m in Shares

Apple has welcomed its powerful new retail boss Angela Ahrendts with a bumper share award worth $68m (£40m). The Indiana-born executive, who joined Apple last week from her previous role as head of British fashion label Burberry, has been granted a maximum of 113,334 restricted stock options which will transfer to her in a series of payments starting over the next four years.

That is, of course, as long as her iTunes is updated to the latest version and she has Flash installed.

3. The Surprising (and Not So Surprising) Details of How Lara Logan Botched That “60 Minutes” Benghazi Story

” A reporter for CBS News didn’t simply fact-check a story with a political partisan who had something to gain from the report — remember, Graham went on to use Logan’s Benghazi story as a platform from which to grandstand on the issue — she took his word on a news event in general without ever imagining a possible conflict of interest.”

Goofus doesn’t understand the process of fact-checking, Gallant at least cites Wikipedia.

4. WATCH: Star Wars Cantina Band Auditions

Chris Daughtry, Ben Folds, Liz Phair, Reggie Watts, Mark McGrath, Jordin Sparks, Rick Springfield, Weird Al, and Lisa Loeb have all been rumored to be a part of the Tatooine cantina band in the new Star Wars film, and now you can check out their audition tapes!