THE MORNING BANTER: Sotomayor Dissents, Russia Responses, American Middle Classes, and Apocalyptic Angel Armies

Happy Wednesday! Hope you didn’t binge too much on that silly cheap post-Easter candy! Here’s what’s happening on the interweb:

1. Sonia Sotomayor Delivers Blistering Dissent Against Affirmative Action Ban

The Supreme Court upheld Michigan’s ban on affirmative action Tuesday, but not without a blistering dissent from Justice Sonia Sotomayor. Sotomayor said the decision infringed upon groups’ rights by allowing Michigan voters to change “the basic rules of the political process … in a manner that uniquely disadvantaged racial minorities.”

“Exactly you fool!” replied Jennifer Gratz of Fort Myers, Fla., who sued the University of Michigan in 1997 after claiming she was rejected because she’s white, “Now everyone will know how it feels to get rejected from college and have to live in Fort Myers, Florida!”

2. Ukraine Crisis: Russia ‘To Respond if its Interests’ Attacked

Russia will respond if its interests in Ukraine are attacked, Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov has said, drawing a parallel with the 2008 Georgian war. Speaking to RT, Mr. Lavrov also accused the US of “running the show” in Ukraine, and having just seen the final season of How I Met Your Mother, Lavrov asserted he was not confident in the US’s ability to do so.

3. The American Middle Class Is No Longer the World’s Richest

The American middle class, long the most affluent in the world, has lost that distinction. While the wealthiest Americans are outpacing many of their global peers, a New York Times analysis shows that across the lower- and middle-income tiers, citizens of other advanced countries have received considerably larger raises over the last three decades. After-tax middle-class incomes in Canada — substantially behind in 2000 — now appear to be higher than in the United States. The poor in much of Europe earn more than poor Americans.

Sorry America knows how to be poor better than everyone else. Quit hating. #AMERICA!

4. WATCH: Syfy’s Trailer For The Post-Apocalyptic Angel Drama Dominion

Set in the year 25 “A.E.”, Earth’s post-apocalyptic future is run by an angel army, and the Angels are super pissed at mankind. It’s like an evangelical preacher’s wet dream…