THE MORNING BANTER: Fort Hood Shootings, Supreme Court Decisions, Cuban Twitter, and Red Hot Chili Memoirs

Happy Thursday! Just a few deep breaths and stiff drinks away from Friday! Here’s what’s happening on the interweb:

1. Fort Hood Shooting: Multiple Injuries, 4 Deaths Reported

A shooting at Fort Hood on Wednesday left at least four people dead and injured multiple people. This is the second time in 5 years that there has been a shooting there, because apparently even mass shootings are getting unnecessary sequels these days.

2. Supreme Court Decides That Money Will Buy Every Election From Here On Out

In a 5-4 decision, with the majority opinion written by Chief Justice John Roberts, the Supreme Court ruled that limits on the total amount of money donors can give to all candidates, committees, and political parties are unconstitutional. Now we get to play a political game of The Price is Right to see just how much an election costs.

3. U.S. Secretly Created ‘Cuban Twitter’ to Stir Unrest

In July 2010, Joe McSpedon, a U.S. government official, flew to Barcelona to put the final touches on a secret plan to build a social media project aimed at undermining Cuba’s communist government. However, all it accomplished was turning Cubans into self-centered people that only speak in 140 characters or less and don’t look up from their phones when walking down the street.

4. Red Hot Chili Pepper’s Bassist Flea to Write Memoir

Flea is awesome; even my mom and dad like him. In fact, what he’s got, I’m going to give it to my momma. What he’s got, I’m going to give it to my poppa. Then I might do a little dance. Maybe drink a little water.