THE MORNING BANTER: Christie Clears Christie, Nugent Blames Racists, Hezbollah Drones, and “Hannibal” Outrage

It’s Friday, so feel free to rejoice. Here are the headlines and a couple of internet goodies to pass the time until you can start your weekend.

1. Awesome news for Chris Christie. A investigation of him commissioned by him has found that he was totally not to blame in the George Washington Bridge scandal. Although he does have that anger issue thing.

NBC News: Report: ‘Upset’ Christie Berates Staff During Tense Investigation

2. Let’s all raise a glass to Ted Nugent’s really shitty week. First came the news that he’d been dropped from July 4th bill in Longview, Texas that he was booked for, with the city actually paying him to go away. Then a 1990 interview was unearthed in which defended apartheid and proudly boasted about using the word “nigger.” And now he’s responding to that snubbing by Longview, and it’s one for the lunatic reactionary ages. Who’d have thought a concert cancellation was the fault of Saul Alinsky and racism (because Nugent says he plays “African-American-influenced music”). Look for Ted to rebound, though, with the help of his new agent — Dan Bidondi.

Raw Story: Ted Nugent Believes Saul Alinsky and Racism are Responsible for People Hating His Music

3. What, you didn’t really think we’d be the only ones with drones forever. Welcome to the new world.

The New Republic: The Next Arab-Israeli War Will Be Fought with Drones: Hezbollah, Weaponized Robots, and a Future That’s Already Here

4. Because as we all know, exposure and “prestige” are acceptable substitutes for money when it’s time to pay the rent and buy groceries for your family.

Salon: Entertainment Weekly’s Disgraceful Decision Puts “Prestige” Over Paying Writers

5. If you caught last week’s episode of Hannibal — a show too brilliant, beautiful, and pitch-black to be on NBC — you know that it ended with a cliffhanger that wasn’t really a cliffhanger. Because there was only one way for that ending to go. Now some viewers are crying racism and sexism about it, but the actor at the center of the controversy is putting all that crap to rest. Spoilers, but it’s good stuff.

Hettienne Park: Racism, Sexism and Hannibal

Chez Pazienza was the beating heart of The Daily Banter, sadly passing away on February 25, 2017. His voice remains ever present at the Banter, and his influence as powerful as ever.