Dan Bidondi is kind of like our mascot around here, the poster child for everything we’ve dedicated ourselves to pointing and laughing at and otherwise mercilessly mocking. For those who haven’t been following along for the past year or so, Bidondi was the doughy, lunkheaded Alex Jones acolyte who disrupted the first official news conference following the Boston Marathon bombing by pelting the governor of Massachusetts with ridiculous accusations of “false flag” terrorism. He’s the guy who got his ass handed to him on camera by an appropriately angry Boston resident in the wake of that fiasco. He’s the guy who penned a melodramatically self-pitying — and painfully illiterate — Facebook post comparing himself to Jesus and lamenting all that he’s had to sacrifice in life to bring people the “truth,” like his relationship with his child, whom he’s apparently not allowed to see anymore. He’s the guy who somehow finally stumbled onto all the fun we’ve been having at his expense here and, just two months ago, descended along with his followers on our comment section like a swarm of really dumb locusts.
And now, he’s back for more abuse — and not just from us. Last week, the Rhode Island state legislature convened to further discuss potential measures for regulating guns, including an assault weapons ban and a ban on the sale of semi-automatic weapons. Needless to say, Dan Bidondi and plenty of other pro-gun activists were there, given that the Rhode Island statehouse has become either the new frontline in the war on liberty or one of the few bastions of sanity that actually learned something from the massacre at Sandy Hook, depending on whom you ask. Bidondi of course represented his Alex Jones-affiliated online show, “Truth Radio,” which claims to be defending America from the New World Order and blowing the lid off subjects like the Illuminati, secret societies, aliens and UFOs, and of course Biblical prophecy. As always, this is someone elected officials clearly need to be taking seriously.
So, this fucking meathead bum-rushed his way into the face of anyone he felt was betraying the infallible will of the Founding Fathers and allowing for the communist impurification of our precious bodily fluids. But when he shoved a mic in front of state senator Josh Miller and began blubbering the words of the Second Amendment at him, Miller came back with an answer Bidondi’s used to by now.
Watch for yourself, and behold the majestic North American lummox in its natural state.
Josh Miller, you, sir, are a fucking hero (as is the guy standing next to him who echoed his sentiment). As for Bidondi, I swear I lose IQ points just listening to him. You can actually hear him misspell the words he’s speaking. He sounds like Bam’s Uncle Vito ate six blocks in Queens.
Unfortunately, because Miller is an elected official, a member of polite society and a decent human being, he’s apologizing for what he said — although it should be noted, he’s not apologizing to Bidondi.
“After watching him antagonize an elderly veteran he swung his camera my way, which produced a very human and guttural reaction… Regardless of the emotions and atmosphere of the moment, it does not justify the language I used that day. Out of respect for the decorum of the State House and the constituents I represent, I offer my apologies.”
I keep waiting for somebody to physically assault Bidondi, because really he so richly deserves a good ass-kicking. But I’m sure I speak for the rest of my colleagues here when I say that, for now, I’ll settle for any opportunity to hear him being verbally abused. Jesus Christ, this guy’s a dunce. But I can’t thank him enough for being so endlessly entertaining.
Chez Pazienza was the beating heart of The Daily Banter, sadly passing away on February 25, 2017. His voice remains ever present at the Banter, and his influence as powerful as ever.