THE MORNING BANTER: Malaysia Flight Mystery, CPAC Stupidity, Surprise Prince Show, and the Teacher Sex Tape

It’s Monday and here we are again. Hope you survived the weekend; some of us barely held on. Here are a few internet goodies to keep you occupied this morning.

1. The mysterious case of a missing Malaysia Airlines jet is very likely going to end exactly how you’d expect, but what led to its disappearance is still anyone’s guess right now.

CNN: New Leads Explored in Hunt for Missing Malaysia Airlines Flight

2. This year’s CPAC has been, as it always is, a clown show. But of all the insane claims and wild incriminations made during the conference, this has to be my favorite. By far.

Mediaite: Bachmann at CPAC: Conservative Movement Is ‘Intellectual’ at Its Core

3. This is a piece that’s six years old but it’s being rerun because it provides a pretty good picture of what Vladimir Putin is all about. Right now, that’s obviously very important.

Esquire: Power: The Definitive Story of Vladimir Putin

4. If I ran into this Kubrickian terror I’d literally shit my pants.

The Verge: “Space Replay” Is an Obsidian Nightmare from the Future

5. This show was officially announced to the general public on Twitter Saturday morning and the only reason I didn’t go is that I was sure it would be sold out in seconds — that there would be a line around the block at the Palladium. Turns out a half-capacity crowd showed up, with tickets available only at the venue for a hundred bucks each. I am kicking myself for not taking the chance and being rewarded with this.

Spin: Prince Electrifies, Exhausts Audience at Epic Four-Hour Hollywood Show

6. And meet every boy’s new favorite teacher at Forest Heights Middle School in Little Rock.

Buzzfeed: An Arkansas Teacher Accidentally Played Students Her Sex Tape

Chez Pazienza was the beating heart of The Daily Banter, sadly passing away on February 25, 2017. His voice remains ever present at the Banter, and his influence as powerful as ever.