THE MORNING BANTER: RT Journalist Resignations, Crazy Plans For Russia, Senate Blocks, and Debunked Hoverboards

Happy Thursday. We’re only a few stiff drinks and haphazardly written emails away from Friday! Here’s what’s happening on the interweb:

1.  Russia Today Presenter Quits Live On Air

RT presenter Liz Wahl quit live on air today in the network’s D.C. bureau. In an emotional segment, she told viewers about her Hungarian refugees who fled Soviet oppression and stated she could no longer be a part of a network funded by the Russian government that “whitewashes the actions of Putin”. Now, as Russian law dictates, she will be forced to wrestle a bear for her freedom.

Speaking off the Motherland…

2. Would This Crazy Plan To Hurt Russia Actually Work?

A unique proposal by Quartz’ Steve LeVine on behalf of economist Philip Verleger offers an interesting weapon at our disposal in this neo-Cold War with Russia. Hint: It’s not Captain America.

3. The Senate Decides Being A Lawyer Disqualifies You From Holding A Legal Post

In a move sure to rattle the legal community, a majority of senators voted Wednesday to block the confirmation of a respected civil rights lawyer to a top Justice Department spot because he helped get a convicted murderer off death row. However, it should be noted that at least a dozen senators cited having recently watched Final Destination and a new fear of comeuppance as to why that voted that way.

4. Hoverboard, Surprisingly, Not Real

So it turns out it was the team over at Funny Or Die that was behind the latest hoverboard hoax. A price has now been put on Will Ferrell’s head, as this sham was not funny; it lifted our hearts and made us believe in a slightly more magical world, only to tear that all away in one callous swoop.