The internet is buzzing with the recently published Google’s ‘How To‘ manual for Google Glass, its fancy eyewear product that allows you see the world wide web on your lenses.
Google describes its community of Glass-wearers as ‘Glass Explorers,’ and the guide is essentially a list of dos and don’ts for ‘Explorers’, compiled after the company asked some long-time users of the product (sorry, ‘Explorers’) for their advice.
It includes handy tips like:
– “Explore the world around you,” and “Be an active and vocal member of the Glass Explorer Community,” because, “The Explorer Program was created in order to have a place where our Explorers can give feedback, share content and communicate with the Glass team.“
– Don’t be “creepy or rude.” The manual contains handy etiquette tips to avoid being what Google cheekily suggests a “Glasshole”.
– “Respect others. And if they have questions about Glass don’t get snappy. Be polite and explain what Glass does and remember, a quick demo can go a long way.“
Let’s be clear – Google is selling a product, so they aren’t being entirely honest with their customers about how not to come across as a douche. So in the interests of the public, if you are an ‘Explorer’, here’s our ‘Do’s and Don’ts’ guide on how to wear (or not wear) Google’s latest gizmo:
Don’t wear Glass in public. Sorry. While you think you look cool, you don’t. You look like a hipster douche with too much disposable income and a serious lack of identity.
Do make sure only close friends and family are around if you have to wear Glass. They (hopefully) love you no matter how pretentious you are, and won’t smack you in the face for being a douche.
Don’t pretend you don’t want attention from other people. Admit to yourself that you bought Glass so that people would come up to you and ask: “Is that Google Glass?? Wow! That’s so cool!!” Having Glass is like bringing a cute puppy to a party. Yeah, you may love puppies, but you love the attention you get from having one even more.
Do hang out out with other Glass wearers. This may help you understand that you are not an individual, but a mindless consumer tricked into buying another shiny tech product that does exactly what all the other products on the market do (ie. surf the internet).
Don’t think of yourself as an ‘Explorer’. You’re not. You’re an idiot pretending to be a character in Star Trek.
Ben Cohen is the editor and founder of The Daily Banter. He lives in Washington DC where he does podcasts, teaches Martial Arts, and tries to be a good father. He would be extremely disturbed if you took him too seriously.