Back when George Zimmerman first announced he would be doing a celebrity boxing match and DMX offered up his services on behalf of “every black person who has been done wrong in the system,” we were left salivating at the totally unrealistic hypothetical scenario of DMX stepping into a boxing ring with George Zimmerman.
But holy hell, it looks like this might actually happen.
DMX says he still needs to get the money side of this in order, but he’s already gone on record saying, “I am going to beat the living fuck out him … I am breaking every rule in boxing to make sure I fuck him right up.” But while at first it seems like DMX wins this hands down, it’s important to take a step back and realize that there are a lot of factors in play that we need to look at when judging who has the advantage in this match.
Let’s break it down…
DMX is 5’11 and in his prime, was quite the physical specimen:
Unfortunately, drugs and Father Time have done a number on the rapper from Yonkers…
At 43, he’s already giving up 13 years to the more spry Zimmerman, and with the life Earl Simmons has led, those are a hard 13 years.
George Zimmerman is about 5’7 and after shedding all that weight he put on in order to look less ominous to jurors, he looks like he could handle at least a round or two in the ring:
PROPENSITY TOWARDS VIOLENCE:
While DMX has stated he lives the life of a pastor now, a good 1/3 of his Wikipedia entry is composed of his “legal issues”. Here are some of the highlights:
– DMX joined rappers Jay-Z, Method Man, and Redman for Jay-Z’s 1999 Hard Knock Life tour, during which he was arrested for charges of a stabbing at a tour stop in Boston, Massachusetts; he was cleared of the charge.
– When officers of the Fort Lee Police Department executed a search of his home in 1999, DMX promptly surrendered himself on weapons possession charges.
– DMX served another jail sentence in 2001 for driving without a license and possession of marijuana. His appeal to reduce the sentence was denied; rather, he was charged with assault for throwing objects at prison guards.
– On May 22, 2009, DMX entered a plea agreement/change of plea, and pled guilty to attempted aggravated assault.
And my personal favorite…
– DMX was arrested in June 2004, at the John F. Kennedy International Airport, on charges of cocaine possession, criminal impersonation, criminal possession of a weapon, criminal mischief, menacing, and driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol, while claiming to be a federal agent and attempting to carjack a vehicle.
George Zimmerman shot and killed a young black teenager in cold blood. He also pointed a shotgun at his girlfriend during a fight, which a lot of people seem to forget
DMX did appear in the film Romeo Must Die with Jet Li, which means he may have picked up some martial arts training then. Oh, he’s also an insane person. Please review this video of him using a computer for the first time for confirmation:
Win or lose the match, Zimmerman ultimately wins with this one. DMX is the perfect person for him to either beat up or have his ass kicked by, an alcoholic, aggressive black man. If Zimmerman wins, he’s a hero. If he loses, he’s proved his point that black men are something to be feared or some bullshit like that.
Ben Cohen on Boxing
As a former boxing journalist, competitive kick boxer, and boxing instructor, I know a thing or two about the sport. Firstly, I’d warn against jumping to conclusions in regards to who will win this bout (should it actually happen). There are several factors that work against DMX in this match up – the first being his age. DMX is 43 years old – significantly past his athletic prime. Zimmerman is 13 years younger and is, in boxing terms, just around his prime fighting age. Secondly, DMX has used drugs and alcohol to excess in the past, habits that severely impede a fighters athletic performance, punch resistance, and reflexes. DMX also reportedly has mental health issues, and given fighting is a very psychologically demanding sport, he may find himself falling apart on fight night if his mind is not in the right place.
What works against Zimmerman is his height and weight. Zimmerman is only 5ft 7, and walks around at a flabby 185lbs – significantly higher than his optimum weight, which should (off the top of my head) be around 145-150 lbs for an in-shape man his size. DMX is 5ft 11, and weight 172 lbs, most of which appears to be muscle. Physics dictates that DMX should hit significantly harder than Zimmerman, and also be able to absorb punches better.
All in all, this looks like it could be a lot more evenly matched than anyone originally expected. And, as always, it’s really us the American people that are the real losers in all this.