The Top 6 Congressmen Bill Maher Is Most Likely To Attack

Last week, Bill Maher told the New York Times that his show will attempt to oust a sitting member of Congress. Moreover, he will ask his viewers to help him select the congressperson that is both terrible enough and in a competitive enough race to get the bullseye put on their back.

The show will then “follow up through November with examples of what it considers terrible work by that representative. Mr. Maher will make occasional visits to that member’s district to perform stand-up and generally stir up hostile feelings toward the show’s target.”

But who exactly is going to be that target?

As Mr. Maher said, “There are a lot of terrible, entrenched congressmen out there,” and only one can be named #1. To help sort things out, we here at The Daily Banter have narrowed it down to the 6 most likely suspects/those 6 congressmen we’d love to see get a swift kick in the electoral ass.

1. Paul Ryan

Vice once accurately described Ryan as “what stupid people think smart people sound like.”

And as one of the more well-known jackasses in the GOP, the guy who once said, “ I see the Tea Party as indispensable,” would be a pretty smart choice for Real Time to go after.

2. Steve King

He survived Christy Vilsack in his last election, even after his district had been changed in an attempt to weaken him, but he also has gone on record saying this while attacking the DREAM Act:

“For everyone who’s a valedictorian, there’s another hundred out there who weigh a hundred and thirty pounds—and they’ve got calves the size of cantaloupes because they’re hauling seventy-five pounds of marijuana across the desert.”

The pro-weed Maher could find a great villain in King.

3. Louie Gohmert

Just last week, our own Bob Cesca wrote an article about Gohmert called “Who’s The Dumbest Man In Congress? I Think We Have A Winner.”

4. Peter King

The guy has gone on anti-Muslim crusades, supports the IRA, and once said, “I don’t care what the fact check says,” when told something he believed to be true was fact-checked as a lie.

He’s a bit more under the radar than some candidates, but his long resume means plenty of possible material.

5. Joe Barton

“An amazing thing happened this summer as BP CEO Tony Hayward was testifying before an Energy and Commerce subcommittee. When it came Joe Barton’s turn to grill the SOB whose rotten company was befouling the waters off Barton’s home state, Barton instead abjectly apologized to a stunned Hayward for President Obama’s demand that BP pay for the disaster the foreign corporation had created in American waters.”Esquire

6. Scott DesJarlais

“A decade before calling himself ‘a consistent supporter of pro-life values,’ Tennessee physician and Republican U.S. Rep. Scott DesJarlais supported his ex-wife’s decision to get two abortions before their marriage, according to the congressman’s sworn testimony during his divorce trial. The couple’s 2001 trial transcript also confirms DesJarlais had sexual relationships with at least two patients, three coworkers and a drug representative while he was chief of staff at Grandview Medical Center in Jasper, Tenn. During one affair with a female patient, DesJarlais prescribed her drugs, gave her an $875 watch and bought her a plane ticket to Las Vegas, records show.”

The Chattanooga Times Free Pressreleased this story right after DesJarlais won his last election. For Maher, this would be like taking candy from a baby [I am above making the joke we’re all thinking about making right now].

Now it’s unfortunate that the rhyming dastardly duo of Stockman and Bachmann won’t be in this election, as they would both be fantastic choices, but let’s just hope that whoever does win this coveted title gets to experience our high unemployment rate firsthand.

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