As you no doubt know by now because it’s getting the kind of national coverage that was once traditionally reserved for political assassinations, Justin Bieber was busted last night in Miami Beach on DUI and street racing charges. If you’re reading this, there’s a pretty good chance you don’t give a shit, nor should you. But CNN does. CNN gives many, many shits.
Not only has the network spent the entire morning going full-tilt on the Bieber story, it’s going to air what appears to be an hour-long special report tomorrow night at 10PM titled “Bieber’s Troubles.” Let me say that again: a special report on Justin Bieber. At 10PM on a Friday night, when, presumably, all of Bieber’s fans are normally tuned into CNN.
If you’re not following the fake Twitter account of The Newsroom‘s Will McAvoy, you should be. It’s actually manned by an anonymous 28-year-old writer who’s gotten pretty good at mimicking the voice of the fictional News Night anchor. If McAvoy really were on Twitter, he’d be righteously railing against CNN doing something as stupid as devoting much of its news hole to the problems of a rich little douchebag nobody above the age of 14 actually cares about. And so the phony McAvoy account is now doing just that.
Here’s the “McAvoy” Twitter feed from the last half-hour. The person he’s addressing is a CNN news editor:
You know, when Jeff Zucker — the man who single-handedly took NBC from #1 to #5 — was named president of CNN Worldwide a little over a year ago, he said his goal was to “broaden the definition of what news is.” Congratulations, Jeff — mission accomplished. And congratulations, Bieber — you’re CNN’s new poop cruise.