It’s a known fact that President Obama is a basketball fan, specifically a Chicago Bulls fan.
And as any fan knows, even if you’re president, it sucks seeing your rivals win. It sucks even more to have to congratulate them in front of the entire country, but Commander in Cool Barack Obeezy had to do just that yesterday when the Miami Heat came to visit the White House to celebrate their NBA championship.
But Obama pointed out at the very beginning of his speech that this was actually the Miami Heat’s second trip to White House, as they are back-to-back NBA champions. He did this to remind us all that he’s already given them the whole official, respectable, White House pomp-and-circumstance ceremony last year.
This was his year to have a little fun…
Over the course of the roughly 7 minute speech, Obama took more than a few not-so-subtle jabs at his Chicago Bulls’ Eastern Conference adversaries, proving once again how big an NBA nerd he is, how passionately he roots for his beloved Bulls, and how truly funny he really is:
He referenced the many Heat fans in Congress that were joining them, noting that, “We all know nothing brings people together like the Miami heat,” and letting it simmer in a sarcasm that only the truly witty possess.
He went on and on about their 27-straight victories last season, commending it as truly remarkable, only to eventually label it “almost impressive as the Bulls’ 72-win season.”
He called out Ray Allen on his blatant F-bomb that was caught on camera following his epic Game 6 shot, pointing out to Jesus Shuttlesworth, “When you say those things on the court, people can read your lips.”
He even had the balls to tell the Heat, who were about to go do a karaoke competition for charity, to “leave Al Green to the pros.”
But the real zinger?
The real NBA nerd cherry on top of this Heat-checking roast?
He saved that for the end.
As they began to prepare for the group picture, Obama quipped, “We should make it quick, before one of these guys starts yelling at Mario.”
For those with a life, Obama was referencing a lovely, dumb NBA inside joke that everyone in the world loves to yell at Heat point guard Mario Chalmers. Last month, a video of LeBron yelling at Chalmers on the sideline went viral and from then on, it became “a thing”, even spawning a so-dumb-it’s-funny Tumblr, “People Yelling At Mario Chalmers.”
The fact that Obama A: came up with this joke (and don’t even try and cry “speechwriter”), B: waited until the very last moment to drop it, and C: had the comedic presence to really let it land just goes to show that we don’t deserve a President as cool as this Muslim Communist who is trying to tear down our government from within.
God Bless America
Post Script: For anyone whose fingertips are salivating at the thought of attacking me for this blatantly pro-Obama story, take a second and realize this has nothing to do with his politics. Go lambast one of Ben’s posts and let the rest of us just have this moment. Thank you