THE MORNING BANTER: The Golden Globes, A New Christie Theory, Roger Ailes Still Sucks, and the New “Game of Thrones” Season

It’s Monday and so it’s back to the grind with you, gerbils. Here’s a couple of headlines and some assorted stuff from around the internet to get you through the day.

1. Gold Rush

12 Years a Slave and American Hustle cleaned up at last night’s Golden Globes, while on the TV side, there are only two words you really need to know: Breaking Bad. Here’s the way it all broke down.

Pajiba: A Complete List of the 2014 Golden Globe Winners

Gawker: Everything You Need to Have Seen from Last Night’s Golden Globes

2. Talk Hard

And if you want to avoid all those winners and losers, here’s the opening Golden Globes monologue by Tina Fey and Amy Poehler in its entirety.

Vulture: Watch Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s Hilarious Golden Globes Monologue

3. Revenge Fantasy

We’re now up to how many alternate theories of why Chris Christie’s administration attempted to exact petty revenge on the city of Fort Lee? Either way, they keep getting more and more intriguing.

The Huffington Post: Steve Kornacki Floats New Theory About Chris Christie’s Bridge Scandal

4. “I Will Destroy Your Life”

If you’re looking for more information on all the horrific things Roger Ailes has said and done over the years that will go absolutely nowhere toward getting him kicked out of his job as the head of the GOP’s propaganda arm, take a look at this.

The New York Times: Networker

5. Spring Is Coming

Finally, every time I think I’m out, they pull me back in. I swear that after the giant fuck-you to the audience that was “The Red Wedding,” I was ready to drop out. Then Game of Thrones launches a trailer for the new season that grabs you and won’t let go.

Photo: Jason Merritt, Getty Images

Chez Pazienza was the beating heart of The Daily Banter, sadly passing away on February 25, 2017. His voice remains ever present at the Banter, and his influence as powerful as ever.