For most of you it’s the last day before a very nice extended vacation. (For some of us it’s just the usual Friday because the holidays don’t mean we’ll stop working for you, the seven or eight readers who’ll still be around.) Anyway, here’s some nonsense you can skim through while preparing to cut out of work early to go down a bowl full of egg nog and prepare your living room booby traps for the fat man in red.
1. Like Crap Through a Goose
It’s day three of Duck-Gate: America Held Hostage. I know you’re already exhausted and have begun trying to eat your own leg off at the ankle while blinking, “Please kill me,” in morse code to everyone you run into, but there’s one more thing we really need to consider in all this lunacy — Phil Robertson’s comments on race in that GQ interview. In a lot of ways they were far worse than his views on gay people, simply because they weren’t even informed by the Bible — just his own dumb-ass redneck ignorance.
2. Hack Attack
Obviously you know how I generally feel about Salon, but I’ve always said that the site has quite a bit of really good talent contributing to it — you just need to wade through a lot of crap to find it. One of its true stars is Pareene, and I’ve got to say, this past week he’s sincerely put himself in the top echelon of brilliantly smart-ass political writers. His annual “Hack List” wasn’t just the usual countdown of the worst of the worst the political media gave us this year — this time around he actually wrote each of the columns in the voice of the hack he was profiling. It was a pretty impressive feat, taking on ten different horrible voices and doing it flawlessly. I haven’t seen anything that inspired since Taibbi did his series of “Wimbelhack” pieces back in the New York Press days. If you haven’t been reading all week, start at the end and work your way back since the previous links are provided. Every one of them is a damn treasure.
It’s a musical and video masterpiece, so of course you want to know how it all came together. It’s kind of a bumpy ride.
4. Santa Claws
Finally, let’s dig back into the vault and pull out a holiday classic from the late, great Christopher Hitchens.
Have a great weekend and holiday, folks. Remember, it’s not too late for Santa to switch your name to his other list, so try to behave for the next few days.
Chez Pazienza was the beating heart of The Daily Banter, sadly passing away on February 25, 2017. His voice remains ever present at the Banter, and his influence as powerful as ever.