Alex Jones Posts Insane Anti-Obama Rant, Commenters Post Insane Assassination Threats

Checking in on Alex Jones every few days is one of my guilty pleasures. Observing his ridiculous conspiracy theories as well as his manic paranoia is mindlessly entertaining. Most of the time. It’s like gazing through a one-way mirror into a locked room full of whacked-out, tweaking meth addicts with nothing else in the room except a DVD player and screwdriver. You know you’re gonna see and hear some insane things, and that DVD player is doomed.

However, when I checked out Alex Jones’ yesterday, shit, as they say, got real.

Jones and co-author Paul Joseph Watson posted an extended 1,700 word manifesto titled “Brand Obama: Totalitarianism 2.0.” The epic screed was essentially a list of charges against the president and his so-called “global cabal,” and contained quotes from Ron Paul, Jonathan Turley, the Cato Institute and Barry Goldwater (the quote mentions the “Trilateralist Commission,” a Jones conspiracy theory favorite). Jones and Watson listed the usual gripes: executive orders, blah blah blah, DREAM Act, blah blah blah, Affordable Care Act, blah blah blah, Fast & Furious, etc, etc. All of it leading to the conclusion that Obama is a dictator and “a teleprompter reading sock puppet.”

But then there were the commenters. On cue, various anonymous psychonauts posted one assassination threat after another.

It all began with a commenter called “Wolf007” who, by the way, appears to be a ring leader in the gun-toting Lord of the Flies InfoWars underworld. “Nevada_Nomad” is evidently his second in command.

Yes, lynch them all — and their families — on Christmas day. But “Nevada_Nomad” can’t wait for Christmas. And don’t think we didn’t get the lynching dog-whistle. Loud and clear, bedlamites.

“Wolf007” continued:

Incidentally, “CQC” stands for “close quarters combat.” Then “Nevada_Nomad” went off…

He seems nice.

That’s right, “head shots.” Oh, and this homicidal crackpot owns multiple AR-15s, the Sandy Hook and Aurora weapon. Tell me again how the federal background check system isn’t in desperate need of major reforms.

Here’s another lynching fantasy from someone called “Uncle_Meat”:

It’s hilarious to see the “traitorous” accusation bandied around by people who want to kill the president (among others).

Here are a couple examples of the popular “lock and load” refrain:

And we have our first “shape-shifting lizard people from outer space” reference. By the way, it’s “well-regulated militia,” not “well organized militia.”

Meanwhile, commenter “DeeJay” opted for the direct approach:

It wouldn’t be an Alex Jones comment thread if there wasn’t a guy who called the president a “chimp”:

“Defend 2nd Amendment” really hates communists — he should be seriously pissed at “Wolf007” and his Chinese bullets.

And finally, what the hell. Let’s toss in some more lizard people.

I realize he’s Crazy Alex Jones, but come on. Every single one of these maniacs ought to be summarily deleted and blacklisted. Even on a website like, threatening to assassinate the president ought to be a blacklist-worthy trespass. But I doubt that’ll happen.

Fortunately for these commenters, they’ve hidden themselves behind anonymous pseudonyms (how brave of them!) making any investigation by the Secret Service more difficult. But if Secret Service investigators are scouring the internet for gun-obsessed conspiracy theorists with eliminationist dreams of assassinating the president, they should probably check out InfoWars. My hunch is they already have.

Bob Cesca is the host of the Bob Cesca Show podcast, a twice weekly political talk show. He’s also a contributor to Follow him on Twitter and on Facebook.