THE MORNING BANTER: Obama Poll Woes, Brain Orgasms, WTFs, and Fantasy Kickers

It’s Tuesday, which means you’ve got like one more day before you HAVE to order that one thing you know you need to order for Christmas. Here’s what’s happening on the interweb:

1. Obama suffers most from year of turmoil, poll finds

With record numbers of Americans saying they disapprove of his job performance and his once-hefty advantages over Republicans in Congress eroded in many areas, President Obama is ending his fifth year in office matching the worst public approval ratings of his presidency. Source say that upon learning the news, Obama calmly lit a cigarette from his hidden pack in the oval office, took a long drag, and almost smiled as he exhaled the words, “Of course I am,” before slowly closing his eyes for a few seconds.

2. How to Have a ‘Brain Orgasm’

According to The Atlantic, intimate videos of whispering and tapping fingernails apparently cause pleasurable tingles, or ASMR (autonomous sensory meridian response) for some. They describe it as a “brain orgasm,” but after watching the video try it’s hardest for 2 minutes to pleasure me, l just felt bored and sympathetic towards my girlfriend.

3. My Transcendent Podcast Guest: Jim Breuer Redeems Himself on Marc Maron’s WTF

Grantland’s Brian Koppelman explains why Marc Maron’s WTF Podcast is the kind of group therapy we all need. Great gift idea: buy a yearlong subscription to WTF for any friends or family that “just need to work through some shit right now, back off!”

4. Justin Tucker Gives His Fantasy Team A Shoutout After Kicking Six Field Goals In Detroit

Baltimore Ravens kicker Justin Tucker had a monstrous game last night, including a a 61-yard game winner last night against the Detroit Lions. What makes it even sweeter for Tucker is that he apparently started himself on his fantasy team this week. Meta awesome.